


Black Swan

by FlametheSeraph



Series: Marble Hornets: Fairytales [1]
Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Swan Lake Fusion, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Hunters & Hunting, I will use all the italics I want, Lost Memories, M/M, Swan Maidens, Tim is a tsundere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26578102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlametheSeraph/pseuds/FlametheSeraph
Summary: Jay is a member of his village's hunting party, and he's responsible for assuring enough food for the Winter. But something else has caught his eye, and he can never go back.Or, I did a swan lake AU because I felt like itT rated for most chapters, Mature in some.Last Chapter EXPLICIT except for very end.
Relationships: Brian/Alex Kralie, Jay Merrick/Timothy "Tim" Wright, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Marble Hornets: Fairytales [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933222
Comments: 17
Kudos: 41





	1. First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay shoots a bird.
> 
> Alternative Summary: DON'T TAZE ME BRO

\---

Of course Jay snuck off from his party - being with them always scared every damn animal away. He was always more successful this way. He comes upon the lake clearing - to see a large black swan. His mouth waters - it had been weeks without good food, his body a testament to that. He feels bad - it's a beautiful bird. But food is food, and winter is coming. And he is _not_ starving to death.

Now is the hard part. He stands in place, moving forward any more so would spook it, so he's still as a tree. He slides the arrow, notching it into place on the crossbow - he aims.

 _Tick_.

It flies with a crook.

He had terribly missed. Shooting the bird in the wing - it screeched. He hated that. When they couldn't get away and we're left to fear before he could kill them. He was a terrible shot.

He decides to quickly reload his crossbow - moving through the underbrush, so he could put it out of its misery. 

But when he raises again, he sees instead, a man sized figure. 

He blinks.

He gets closer.

Yes, that was definitely a naked man he'd shot. They clutch at the wound in their shoulder, standing knee deep in the lake water.

"H-Hey are you-"

They whip around, completely unashamed, glaring daggers at Jay.

"Do I look alright!? You shot me!" 

"I'm sorry I didn't know …"

"Save it!" He turns and plops down in the mud.

They pull at the arrow, failing to loosen it and drawing more blood.

One arm couldn't do the trick.

"At least let me pull it out … you need two hands .."

They shift their eyes around, thinking, then finally glaring at him.

" _Fine._ Make it quick…"

He treads lightly into the water with his leather boots, laying a palm on the man's shoulder shakily.

"Hurry up!" He barks.

"S-sorry."

He tugs back, removing the sharp arrow head. 

The man rubs at the wound.

" _Hunters…_ " He grovels.

"I'm really sorry man I thought you were a bird … I think I'm seeing things … haven't slept in a while…"

"..." The man stares at him, then cracks a sly, almost evil smile.

"Bird huh? Like - this?"

There's a flash of wind forcing Jay to block his eyes - and when he looks, black feathers fly swarm away into the trees.

 _'Wh-what? What was that?'_ _Did he really …"_

He's left flabbergasted and unanswered, but eventually his friends come tumbling by to 'fix' that quiet serenity.

"Jay! Where were you!? I told you to stop running off, do you want to die a horrible death by some angry bog witch!?" Alex gripes.

"Calm down calm down he was doing fine!" Brian cheers behind him.

"You see anything Jay?"

"Yeah … but it flew away…" (He didn't mention the man part.)

"Don't worry about it, you'll get it next time."

"Yeah … next time…"

He stares out across the lake..

_Amazing._


	2. Willow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay returns to the lake.
> 
> Alternative Summary: Peeping Tom

Getting his thoughts of that _thing_ last night - impossible. Oh he'd heard of witches and tales but this - this actually _happened_. A man … turned into a swan … or did the swan then into a man? But he feels a terrible force dragging his natural, insatiable curiosity, and so under the guise of a lone hunt, he returns to the forest like a child desperate to explore.

He finds the lake edge in record time - no swan man thing. Well … maybe he'd gone to another water source? Or maybe down from here…

He trails the bank, careful of his footing as he leaves tracks over the mud.

He approaches a dark, thick set of willow trees, mirrored by crystal blue water and mist. He sees black - and gets excited, pushing through the fronds.

 _'Found him!'_ The man stands waist deep in the water, cupping the liquid and pouring it through raven dark hair.

Jay is entranced, his head twisting to the side as he contemplates. He's stuck here in this moment, unable to move even if he wanted to.

The man whips his head and gives Jay an accusing glare over his shoulder.

"Urgh … why are _you_ here."

"I just … wanted to apologise again … I wouldn't have shot you if I'd known. How is the wound?"

"I accept your apology, and the wound is fine."

Jay sits there another ten seconds.

"Well? Leave me alone."

"Uh .. I just wanted to uh … hang out?"

"I don't want to 'hang out' with the likes of you."

"B-but you don't even know me, how can you decide if you don't like me?"

"I've met enough of your _kind_."

"That's raci-"

"Gah! No it is not!" A surge of water rises and splashes at Jay, narrowly dodging.

"Woah - how did you do that!? That's pretty … nifty." 

The man rolls his eyes, sending another arc of water.

"Hey!" Jay runs down the shoreline - and the water gives chase. He narrowly dodges laughing nervously. But his laughter increases when he notices the man idly swimming, following him. The water makes a circle around him, and as he reaches his hand out to touch it - he doesn't see the man break through the wall and tackle him to the ground.

"Stop it."

Jay goes completely red. There is now a fully naked swan man straddling him on the shoreline.

"What?" He detects Jay's sudden surprise.

"S-sorry - it's just uh … my kind usually wears clothes …"

The man closes his eyes, sitting back with an annoyed snort.

"I know idiot - I'm human too."

"You're … then how - what?"

"Go home hunter." He splashes backwards, swimming underwater before popping up again some meters away.

"Hey wait what's your name?"

"I'm not giving you my name."

"Oh …" he blinks, then smiles again "My name's Jay."

This seems to startle the swan-man.

"Jay you say?"

"Yeah!"

"Hmm …" And then the man is gone, replaced by a large black swan, floating away from him.

"Oh uh … bye - you." He puts his waving hand down, and simply watches the water for awhile, before going to look for food he can bring back.


	3. Brian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay returns to the lake - and meets a familiar face.
> 
> Alternative Summary: When your side hoe meets your side hoe

This time he waits a week, but his belly is calling, and he cannot take from the food stores without adding twice as much as he takes. So he decides to just eat whatever he can catch out in the woods - besides, his hunting path can include the lake. He almost knows the way by heart just after two trips, and the sky darkens to a blue mist whenever he's close.

This time though - a distinctive laugh breaks the frog song.

He follows the sound and pushes through bushes, until he walks into a muddy ledge straight into the lake with a loud splash.

He turns around desperately raking at the muddy sides, breathing fast until he gets a grip on a root - then turns to look at the swan man standing a few feet away, and sitting above on the ledge - Brian.

"Jay-"

"Brian-"

" **I can explain!"** They both shout.

"Oh great you know each other…" The dark-haired man leans back, floating.

"Y-you can go first -" Jay says.

"N-no you can…" Brian says.

"Why do you two care?" The man says.

"Oh … true." Jay mumbles. "I was out hunting but I uh -"

"He came here to meddle around again because he can't. Leave. Me. Alone."

"Ahh don't be that way Tim, you were the same with me when we first met!"

_'Tim? That's a … normal name…'_

"Yes Brian but unlike Jay here you didn't shoot me in the arm."

"I didn't mean to shoot you!" Jay cries again. 

Brian laughs, hitting the dirt wall. "Ha ha ha! You actually did hit something Jay! Didn't think you had it in you!"

"Brian! It hurt - A lot! Tell him to go home."

"I know Jay well enough Tim, he wouldn't intentionally shoot you - in fact I don't think he's shot anything in his life - ha ha ha!"

"I - I have too!" His feet push against the dirt wall trying to scramble up. Some dirt comes loose and he falls back in with Brian laughing.

He feels something lift him out of the water- Tim. _'When did he get that close?_ ' He then throws Jay unceremoniously, letting Brian catch him and pull him up. Tim sinks his head, blowing bubbles into the water.

"Well … if you trust him…. I guess he can stay…"

Jay sits trying to ring out his boots.

"Oh … why are you here then Brian? You said Tim is your friend?"

"Relationship advice!" 

Tim spits out water "No that is not why he's here!"

"But your advice isn't that bad!" Brian cheers, turning back to Jay. "Tim and I go way back a few years…"

"Sure didn't act like that a few days ago! Calling me human scum!" Jay pouts.

"I did NOT call you scum, but I should've after you shot me!"

"You're still on about that!?"

"YES!"

They stare daggers at each other for a moment, before Jay breaks out into laughter along with Brian.

"We're such idiots- ha ha ha!"

Tim glances to the side and snorts a bit, flushing pink, then he turns the attention back to Jay.

"Your clothes are filthy and wet now."

"Hey at least I _wear_ clothes."

Tim groans, "Again, really? Clothes suck when you're trying to turn into a swan - besides, I do have clothes."

He pulls a thick pelt, or hide - something black and feather out of the water, and Jay stares bug eyed. Tim flings it over his shoulders, and shifts right in front of his eyes into a black swan. He ruffles his wings for a moment - this close up … he really is a huge bird, as tall as Jay if he stretched his neck. Then it collapses - back into a blanket of feathers.

"Woahhhhh…"

"Pretty cool right Jay!" Brian smiles.

"It's beautiful…" Tim's face goes then twists up into an angry sneer, then a furrow. Jay doesn't read into it much.

They sit and talk for awhile - he can't really tell what time of day it is here, but apparently Tim can. Tim. Tim. That name … bothers him… for some reason.

"Alright, it's getting dark, time for you two to head back-"

"Huh why?"

"Monsters come out at night - now go."

"Come on Jay -" Brian tugs him up by the arm, and he walks backwards.

"Oh… uh … bye." He gives a little wave - Tim stares as they go, the darkness of the evening painting a haunting shadow over his eyes.


	4. Our Own Little Worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim thinks about Jay, and the ridiculousness of his questions.
> 
> Alternative Summary: Jay is that kid that raises their hand to ask what the homework was.

Tim will deny being out on the lake just in hopes that some passerby will speak to him. He is horribly indecisive. He shouldn't - _can't_ talk to people, cannot lure them in for that demon to trap them in the woods at night. He also risks being found again…

But he can't help his heart flutter when a certain bumbling fool drops by. Talking to him is entertaining - he says everything in a monotone mumbling, twisting his thumbs around - but his eyes light up at the right things. He's too easy to confuse too - and pure, even when said man shot him with a crossbow…

Every single time Tim tells him to leave it only encourages him more, like a spoiled kitten. He's doomed.

Jay has his own little spot now - the thick trunk of a willow tree sticking up out of the water like a little islet. He will sit and watch Tim preen his feathers until he gets annoyed enough to turn human and bark at him to leave. But he always heeds his warning to leave before sundown. He's capable of listening when he wants too.

Today is like many others, except the cold autumn wind has set in, and Jay wears a buckskin coat and a wooly hat. He always sets his crossbow next to him - it's a beat up thing, likely passed down - but the strings are new. Jay hasn't used it a lot. But he's an alright shot. He showed Tim once before, hitting a leaf in a mound of dirt … problem was it if it moved it was impossible for him.

He asks and asks away at his silly, benign questions-

"How old are you?"

"Seriously?"

Jay nods.

"I'm 24 winters old - but I've seen 48 of them…"

"W-what? That doesn't make any sense…"

"Forget it. Why are you asking that question?"

"I don't know … I was wondering if you were immortal or something…"

"No Jay … I'm not immortal, I'm just ageless."

"But … isn't that immortal?"

"No."

"Huh…"

"Do you have a favorite color?"

Tim sighs, "You're so creative…"

"Well do you?"

"Hmm … I used to like red … but it changed to a pale green … almost tan…"

"See, that's pretty unique!"

"Whatever…" He dunks his head under the cool water, shaking his wet hair 

"Doesn't it get cold without clothes?"

"No - my skin is adjusted, and I have feathers."

"They can't be that warm though…"

"Ugh … fine - I'll show you then" The black feathers slip over his back and in a trickle of light, he curls back into a swan, hopping up on the root next to Jay. He sits against Jay stretching his wings over his shoulder and fluffing himself up.

"He-he, it's like you're a big puff ball." Jay suddenly wraps his arms around Tim's torso - who honks quietly in surprise.

"You're right … it is warm…" he nestles his face into the down and Tim is about to slap him with a wing - but he backs down, it's likely that Jay doesn't realize how - ahem- _personal_ he's being. It's an awkward few minutes, before Tim notices that Jay's breathing is slowing, muscles stilling. He's falling _asleep_.

"Honk!" He shouts in his ear, startling him.

"Sorry…" He yawns.

He hops back in the water, pulling back the coat to become human again.

"Hey Tim … it's real lonely out here … and your human…"

"Yes…?" _What is Jay getting at?_

"Why don't you live in the village?"

"Is your job just to ask me senseless questions?"

"... Yes." He nods.

"I can't. I can't go near the humans. That's what a curse is Jay."

"Oh … that sucks…"

"It would - but I don't like humanity anyway…"

"You like Brian."

"Brian is an exception."

"How did you and Brian meet?"

Tim pauses a moment, eyes darting down, and then he folds his elbows on the trunk, resting his head.

"... Brian doesn't remember exactly how - just that he believes he owes a life debt to me… but he was … sick … so I brought him back as a child to your village."

"I thought you said you couldn't go near the village?"

"Up-gf-th-" He stutters. "I didn't go _directly_ to the village!"

"He-he..." Jay gives a little laugh.

"You're hopeless …" He sighs. "Really … you should go, but that will just make you more curious won't it…"

"Yeah … I mean village life is boring …"

"How so?" This was probably the first time Tim is able to direct the conversation towards Jay's life instead of his own.

"Well … everyone's hungry all the time, so I'm always out hunting … and they do the same things day after day … farming and sewing and gossiping … we never leave, never get to go far, and at my age they want me to have children… I already told them I was only attracted to men … but they say I still have to siar offspring at least to keep the village population up."

"I see…"

"Maybe that's why I come out here … I want to be free like you…" He lays back on the log.

"Oh Jay…" Tim sighs. "I've never been free… if I were free, I would fly far, so far from here."

"Then I guess we're both trapped in our own little worlds…"

"Yes … yes we are…" They look up at the willow fronds in shared silence.


	5. Forgotten Mementos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim shows Jay his house
> 
> Alternative Summary:  
> Flannel = Gucci

When Jay doesn't show for the rest of fall - Tim believes he's finally listened, staying away. But as the cold months of winter come and he's forced to stay inside all day - he begins to feel that stupid emotion tingling and aching in his chest. This is for the better. Jay won't be hurt.

Spring comes and passes. Brian visits him occasionally - but Jay is absent. There was no way he was going to ask and possibly insinuate that he _missed_ Jay. No - No of course not. Late spring rolls around and the water is just warm enough now to enjoy all day in the cool misty grove. He hopes it will clear his head.

It's that moment when he hears a familiar set of bumbling footsteps, that his feathers ruffle and he quickly turns into his human self. Sure enough, Jay comes over the ridge.

"Tim!"

"Stop shouting Jay … why are you back!?"

"I … uh … I wanted to see you … I - my village was on a hunting trip to the south all winter. Sorry I didn't come back earlier."

"I wanted you to stay _away_ Jay. You can't do this!" It hurts to say but it's true. Though, instead of his usual determined demeanor, Jay backs down.

"Oh … uh … then … I'll go …" He shuffles onto his feet.

"No!" He jumps out grabbing Jay's wrist.

Tim turns his head away from that gaze once realizing what he's done. "You might as well stay a little while. … after such a long walk out here." He seems to perk up and sit down on the root smiling at him ever so slightly. But Tim can tell something else is crushing his spirit.

"Jay, what's wrong?"

"It's … not that bad …"

_'Ah Ha. Right.'_

"So there _is_ something wrong?" He pushes Jay. His eyes dart around a bit, before once again filling with a burst full of tears.

"I hate it-" He ugly cries, snorting in air.

"Oh … Jay-" he's not sure what to do to comfort the man.

"They - they keep pressing me to … have a baby … that I need to grow up and be a father but I … I don't want to - I hate it… Everytime I go home it's non-stop…"

"Oh…" He's not really sure how to handle this … but he really wants Jay to stop crying now, drifting forward into his personal space, and standing up to reach a hand over his cheek, rubbing the tears away. Jay freezes and locks eyes with him.

"I know it's upsetting for you Jay … I feel for you…" That's how you make people feel better right?

Jay's tears cease as his face turns the shade of a tomato.

"Uh-b-bbbbbb … thanks…" He pulls his hand away and sinks back into the tepid waters.

"Now you understand one of the many reasons I don't live in a village."

"Then … where do you live. Do you just … live on the lake or do you have a house or something?"

"Guess it wouldn't kill to show you…"

"Eh? You want to show me?"

"Yes, come here…" He slides his big hands around Jay's waist, tugging him forward and pulls him into the water.

"Tim I can't swim well I-!"

"I'm not going to let you drown stupid, come on."

He kicks around the lake, and Jay is forced to hold on to his back and shoulders as they go. His clothes drag like lead weights.

"How deep is it?"

"It's only a couple feet … relax Jay."

"But it's so dark."

"Then don't look at the water." He resolves to look rather at the moles and freckles dotting his back, connecting them like constellations.

Soon, Tim is swimming between some narrow rock faces, and they pass under a waterfall that pounds on his head like a timpani.

Tim helps Jay onto the rocky land, a small hidden cave behind the falls. Jay sheds his coat, bulky with water.

Tim slips on a large furry coat once inside, starting a fireplace in a little hearth. "This is my … humble abode…"

"It's … it's-"

"I know it's not very big but-"

"It's adorable!"

He looks around at the walls illuminated by soft candle light. It's cute and simplistic, but with little trinkets here and there. They're fascinating things he's never seen.

"Can I…?" Tim sighs.

"Gently."

He picks up a little orange cylinder, holding it up to the light and staring through.

"Woah ... What material is this?"

"Plastic."

"P-lastic? Where's that from?"

"Places…"Jay walks around dripping wet still.

"You should probably get those off before you go exploring, you're going to freeze to death."

"Oh … sorry."

Tim suddenly tugs at his shirt and he swears he gets hot enough to steam the water away.

"I-I got it!" He pulls it up - revealing a thick scar on his stomach.

Tim's breath stops. "Where did you get that?"

"Eh? Stop looking at me!" He gripes. "This? It's just a birthmark."

"Oh …" He looks away to let Jay undress and sit on the rug near the fireplace.

"I probably should've waited for you to take them off …" He places a thick fur blanket over his shivering form as his clothes dry by the fire. It dwarfs him in the sheer volume. He feels like a ferret snuggled in a burrow.

Jay looks around, his eyes combing over another "plastic" object. A little square with writing on the side. "NEVER FORGET. 80."

"What's this mean?"

"Just a memory I have, nothing special…"

"Woah!" He sees a red, strangely striped shirt.

"This is - magnificent! How did they get it so red … and the stitching it's … flawless."

"Pfft, it's called a flannel … it's foreign from here, they make hundreds of thousands of these…"

"Really? But it looks so expensive!"

"Not where it came from."

"Wow … I want to visit a land where stuff like this exists!"

"Trust me you don't … it's cruel ... And there's no escape, from anyone..."

He hands back the shirt with utmost care - Tim simply throws it across the room. He sits by the fire, the water in his hair almost dry.

"Here … try this on…"

He hands over a soft, pale green cap.

He puts the hat on. It fits well, seemingly worn in by someone before.

Tim smiles, "You should keep it … looks good on you…"

"Really?"

"I'm sure - don't lose it."

Jay smiles, "Don't worry, I'll treasure it."

They sit in the quiet ambience, the fire crackling, might dancing over Jay's face, as his eyelids begin to droop and fall. Eventually, without really thinking about it, he lays down on the rug like a child ready for nap time. He doesn't disturb him, instead choosing to watch Jay's breathing, sleeping softly - and it's entrancing … he doesn't kick or stir or panic. His eyes are healthy, with no shadows underneath.

He couldn't dare wake him up. He's too zen in this position. 

But sundown … he fears then. He could carry Jay back … but … Jay should be safe, just for one night… as long as he stays hidden in his home, he'll be alright. Warm and tucked away. Just. One. Night.

It's selfishness. He's being selfish. He's going to get Jay killed. But he whispers to himself. _"I wish you'd remember_. _"_


	6. Days Gone By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay and Tim continue their regular visits.
> 
> Alternative Summary: No one can make up their mind just like me.

This time, he comes back to see him, even in the winter, when the lake has frozen over. When he can walk with webbed feet over the glass surface, the trapped bubbles of vegetation rotting at the bottom of the lake.

Jay shows up trying to ice fish - failing miserably when he falls in and Tim drags him out, angrily stripping him and sitting him by the fireplace as he shivers.

"You're a walking nuisance…" He tells him.

"You got checkers?" Jay asks.

"No I do not."

"Ah…"

Jay still shivers, but reaches out once again to fiddle with his objects. He picks up a strange silvery colored thing, with a big black eye.

A little door opens on the side, and he pokes at it curiously.

"What's this?"

"It's called a camcorder… doesn't work anymore though."

Suddenly the thing beeps and Jay jumps, juggling the thing around before Tim catches it.

"Or it does … at least when you touch it…"

"What does it do?"

"Nothing … it makes sounds."

Jay plops back down on the floor.

"I'm tired…." Tim rolls his eyes and turns into a swan, sitting next to Jay. He lets out a little surprised honk when the man rests his head on his shoulder, and he shoves him with a wing. Jay only leans in under the wing.

When he finally passes out, Tim folds his long neck around, tucking Jay into his wings and letting him sleep and stay warm.

He will allow himself this one selfish pleasure.

For Jay, life in the village is increasingly tense - Alex stressing over his coming of age party and Brian telling him to chill out, and Jay is just _sick_ of it. He's sick of humans and talking and gossiping and stupid church and - and - But he always lays in bed at night, squirming when he thinks of Tim and how excited he is to go see him next. 

Alex says he's "distracted" and not doing his tasks. Brian once more tells Alex to chill. 

Jay feels sick, like he has a flu with no symptoms. He wants to lay in bed and think of Tim until he can go back and see him.

He comes every week, even into the spring, and in Summer too, and even tries to swim in the pond. Tim watches him flop around like a frog. He freaks out when he figures it out, proudly proclaiming that Tim could no longer swim away from him. Tim laughs, swimming out further into the lake as Jay flaps around wildly chasing him. He gets tired in the middle of the water, and Tim scoops him up from below, floating him on his back. It takes a few minutes for Jay to relax, but once he does, he freely floats, the water calming his racing thoughts and soothing his bones.

He can't think of anyone he'd rather be with….

And it's in Autumn when the leaves are falling again, Tim feels that horrible lingering sadness return.

This can't go on.

"Jay …" He starts one day.

"Yeah?"

"You need to leave. And never come back."

"Wh- did I do something wrong?"

"No. You just need to go…."

Jay takes a minute to process it, shock and sadness turning into anger. "I don't get it!? Do you want me to stay or not?"

Tim stares him in the eyes. He wants to tell him the truth, tell him that he wants him to stay but needs him to go. Tell him he's sorry things are this way. But he knows Jay. Jay will come back if he says those things…

"No. I want you to go."

Jay looks taken aback - then snaps "Fine! Sorry I'm such a fucking waste of time!"

Jay does leave … and he doesn't come back. And it aches - but he reminds himself that ache isn't anything close in comparison to the ache of Jay being dead by his hands.


	7. It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim runs from The Operator.
> 
> Alternative Summary: Tim plays hard to get for literally every aspect of life

It's becoming angry once more. He knows it for certain when he wakes up in the woods without memory, bare feet turning blue from the cold, frosty earth.

"Shit… can't you give me a damn break…"

It grows near. He senses it, as his feathers begin to sprout uncontrollably, and painfully from his skin. He knew the risks of leaving his safe haven and yet he did it anyway. Feathers grow from his left eye like a wing, and more from his back, huge gigantic things - but nothing he can fly with. They're heavy, so heavy, but at least it's something warm - he hates being _that monster._

Why had he left? Well, he has no idea if Jay was safe - and Brian hasn't returned either. So he was just going to take a peak - make sure the village didn't fall down or something. (And totally not to be noticed by Jay).

Well now he is paying for the price of his stupidity, stuck in a weird half point between human, swan, and monster.

The creature is even closer now, buzzing in his head obnoxiously loud - though he's learned how to bare it by now. Panicking makes it worse. He needs to think. It can't find him yet, that's why it's messing with him.

But then, the far seeking black tendrils crawl, flickering towards his feet.

He bolts, his feet probably bleeding by now. He's close enough now to the safety of the lake, just a few more -

Of course then is the perfect time to slam into Jay Merrick. 

"Ah-hab-gah!" Jay's crossbow dances around in his hands.

"Shhhh!" He instinctively grabs the mouth of the, still, flabbergasted man, his thoughts nearly audible.

And then - he starts coughing.

Oh _shit_.

Jay tries to squirm from his hand, which holds his mouth shut, eyes full of fear.

"Jay _quiet_." But as much as Jay wants he can't control the storm wracking his ribs. Saliva starts building up at his palms. He watches helplessly as his eyes roll back in his skull, and his muscles begin to tighten and flex.

He knows he shouldn't - but he has to keep Jay quiet as he tenses, then writhes with impossible strength, tensing again.

It appears right in front of them.

"No- no no no no, Jay, Jay we gotta go!" Flashes of the event more than _twenty years ago radiate like panic._

It's so loud - painful - it's stark white face boring into him with a deceit-filled anger. Jay then snaps back to life, looking at the thing. Tim didn't want this to happen - now it knows where Jay is. Now it can track him, and smell him and find him.

Jay screams, and Tim pulls him mercilessly through the forest, dragging him when he trips over a root until he catches enough footing to run with him.

He leaps over the pond edge, Jay's wrist still clasped in his hand as they go tumbling into the pristine water. It can't follow him here. Not for now. It didn't touch Jay yet. It's still safe here.

He resurfaces, to see Jay sitting in the shallow bed, soaked as well, panting and staring wide eyed at his own reflection, then turning to him - "Tim … what was that thing? What was that thing Tim!?" He begins to freak out. Tim tells the closest to the truth he can.

"It's … it's an evil spirit - it tries to use me to lure people in for bait. That's why I couldn't let you or Brian stay around, especially after night." 

He expects anger, disgust, feelings of betrayal - but instead he gets: "Is that why you think I came to visit you all the time? Because I was tricked by some monster? I like talking to you Tim, you … get me, even if you can be a jerk about it…. I just want to sit and talk to you all day… that would be the best thing I could imagine." He looks at his stupid, jovial smile, even after their near death experience.

He wades over, taking Jay's hands to lift him up.

"Jay, I'm designed to lure poor souls like you in. I don't want to do that. I'm meant to be alluring … You can't trust this - it's just another trick. You need to go." He let's the small hands go, stepping back into the lake looking at his own sad reflection. But another ripple breaks the surface as Jay takes a step towards him. He gazes up in warning. But Jay takes another step, and another, until he's only a few inches away.

"You really shouldn't come too close, you cannot trust your feelings." Tim says, staring up into his eyes.

"Maybe you're right … but maybe you're wrong…" Jay replies.

"You're foolish."

"You're not running away from me…"

"If you keep coming too close you'll be led to death …"

"I know … and I'm a sad man for that." Jay stands in his space, too close, just a hair away from touching.

"I would run now Jay, I won't be able to let you go … I'm warning you…"

"And I'm warning you too… don't push me away..."

Then he leans in - and Jay's heart panics - he's right there, in front of him, is this really (finally) happening?

There's a burst of feathers as Tim flaps away as a swan.

"Tim! Ughhhh…"

He sits on the bank for hours, frustrated. Cold. Wet. Tim hasn't come back.

And then at some point, as the sky turns dark, he cries. He hates this game of chase. He doesn't want to be teased like this. He's so painfully in love and he now just feels it blossoming. He's sick of it. He decides it's time to go back to the village and just ignore this all. Besides, it is _night time._


	8. Persuasions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay meets the creature
> 
> Alternative Summary: Send out an Amber Alert.

He couldn't be more frustrated - forced to walk back in the freezing cold, and in the dark, doing his best not to trip on any trees or roots. He has no light to get back, but he can see the campfires a few hundred yards ahead.

He keeps looking back and swears one of the tree's shapes is following him.

That's when a cold wind slides over, slow as a snake. He gasps, feeling as if he's being choked - but he reminds himself to breathe. Then the oppressing weight fades into a dark pitted stone in his gullet.

A haunting sound cries out into the woods, like a dog-bear hybrid, and he feels cold fingers on his chin. He's about to scream when they clamp over his mouth - regardless the sleeping birds wake and fly away in a chorus of caws and wing beats.

" _Jay Merrick."_ It breathes down his neck, but when he works the courage to turn his head, there's no mouth or face to be had. His fear is silent, a yearning to call for Tim, Brian, Alex, anyone, but he can't move as hard as he tries. His muscles remain loose and weighed down.

 _"I mean you no harm."_

What? He wants to peep the question, but he's still trapped by white bony fingers longer than his head.

 _"What has he been telling you?"_ Tim's face flashes through his mind.

 _"Lies?"_ A few memories of Tim play through his head - but ones he doesn't recognize. He wears strange clothing, strange buildings, but each incident _feels_ real, the lies are _real._

"What was … that?" He whispers.

" _Things you have forgotten. Things_ **_he_ ** _took from you."_

Jay gulps. "He said … you trick people … to lure them into the woods …"

 _"I do."_ There's a repeated clicking noise like the notches he draws back on his crossbow string. _"Because he has taken something from me…"_ It's hand gestures out towards the light.

Brian sits by the campfire, talking with Alex, his laughing face silhouettes against the flames. They sit noticably close, shoulder to shoulder, as Alex complains about something and Brian snickers.

 _"See this ~ your friends … I can do things, unspeakable things_ …. _"_ A shadow distorts his view, plunging Jay into swirling black - not even the trees are left. _"I can take away everything you hold dear_ …"

There's a long pause.

"But?" Jay whispers.

_"Smart creature … **But,** I will withhold my wrath - for a favor… The man of those black feathers… I want him in my grasp once more." _

Jay's throat clenches. What … what would the creature do to him? Tim never treated him badly … warned him constantly…

It's like the monster can read his thoughts.

_"Do you know how many he's killed with his bare hands? He has lied to you. He is not just a swan, but a monster in disguise."_

"Why … why not just go find him by yourself?"

 _"I have no eyes to see him with, no ears to hear him with, no nose to smell him with. He has evaded me - but, with your help, I can find him_ **_again_** _."_

Jay knows that is a lie - it found him easily … and it never came for Jay at the lake, There's something with it that is preventing the monster from entering. But he can't seem to deny it, like his tongue is locked. And then the red images play in his mind - of Alex in strange clothes, Tim stabbing him in the neck and killing him. He sees Brian - dead. And finally - himself.

 _'What?'_ Fear and surprise turn to rage. How _dare he!_

_"Go to him, and I will come at night~ silent as an owl."_

"Alright…"

The thick static seeps into his body, as he approaches his friends at the campfire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I could hear writing the "what has he been telling you?" line is "Glacier" by John Grant "What have they been telling you, about the way things are?" Fantastic moving song about the history of gay rights in America.


	9. Of Monsters and Hornets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay goes to talk to Tim
> 
> Alternative Summary: Jay done goofed

In the morning - he makes the fateful walk, crossing into the lake. He figures the monster cannot follow him during the day. It gives him enough time to _talk._

Of course, he sees Tim preening his feathers, and he walks right into the water.

"Get up here and talk to me now."

"Honk."

"Don't honk at me!"

If swans could roll their eyes, he would, and the lake ripples, Tim stands up with a coat of feathers he lays in the liquid depths.

"What was that about yesterday?" Jay folds his arms, trying to deepen his voice.

"Oh come on, it was a joke."

"Terrible joke."

"Hmmph." He shrugs. "What are you gonna do about it?" Wrong thing to say. Jay leaps at his shoulders.

"Tell me. Tell me what you know Tim."

"About what?" He grunts annoyed.

And there is a word on his tongue, a strange pair, something he's never thought of relating to one another, and yet it rolls forward - like it's right. It's right at this moment. "Tell me about Marble Hornets!"

Tim's skin visibly turns white, his eyes blown open, pupils pricked, making a face Jay has never seen before.

"Wh…" He's not even sure of the question he wants to ask.

Jay has no idea what he said, nor the relevance of it - but the way Tim reacts - it's all he needs. "What is Marble Hornets?" He asks again, stepping forward - Tim takes a step back.

"What are you … talking about." Tim takes the denial route.

"Don't play with me, it's written all over you."

Tim takes another step back, bending forward, a shadow falls over his eyes as his head lowers, like a beast holding its ground.

" _Leave. You don't come back here. Or I'll make you regret doing so."_ It sends shivers through Jay's body, but he has to stand strong, even if he dumbly risks his own mortality.

"What do you know Tim? What are you hiding from me?" He stays still, letting the little ripples surround his legs.

The shorter man is tense and solid, teeth bared like a wolf about to bite.

"Why … why did I see you … killing us? Killing Alex?"

"Hu-" He gasps and his face plays through shock, sadness, and lastly, panic. "When did you - that thing -" It clicks in his mind. "It's all my fault." He searches Jay for a moment, then at the water, his hands coming to the side of his head. "It's all my fault - it's always my fault."

He releases a brief, horrible shout, breathing fast as he kneels down in the water. "No no no no no please, please god, anyone, not again. I can't do it again…" He grips his scalp - and slowly between the black locks, something emerges. 

It's - feathers. Black feathers growing thick from his scalp like a spotty mane. Knubs begin building at his spine and arms. 

He does something that causes Jay's heart to break - he shakes with a quiet sob, hiding his head and heavily breathing.

"Tim - talk to me…" He bends down a bit, reaching out a hand.

As Tim gets more nervous, the black feathers begin popping out of his skin - he plucks them out and they bleed red. Jay grabs his wrist. "Stop that!"

Tim looks up at him with pure black eyes, piercing his very soul, even more so then the faceless monster. "Don't look at me!" He yells, shaking off his grip.

Jay can only … freeze … he … he _is_ a monster …. He sinks back to his knees as the painful transformation takes place on his skin, his face, his hair, starting at the crown of his head and going down the ridge of his back, sprouting out of his forearms and legs, his hips and ankles. The formation of a long, thin wing bursts out, like it had been stuck in place for a long time. He looks up in pain as a smaller one sprouts from his left eye, just below the eyebrow, and covers his brown eyes. He pants in place, too ashamed to peer up at the hunter, who's crossbow shakes at his side, uncertain. The one giant, long wing, comes over to fold in front of him, separating him and Jay.

Marble Hornets … whatever it is … relates to this being before him. But … he shouldn't call him a being, he's still Tim - but who is _Tim? So_ carefully, tenderly, he reaches a few fingers out, wobbly touching the silky black feathers, stroking the wing.

"Tim … you need to tell me … what happened. Please." His voice becomes more relaxed. "Please Tim. What happened to you to cause this?"

He gives him a minute to collect himself.

"You don't want to hear this … the things I've done…."

"I try not to judge people…" He lies. But he still wants to hear his side.

Tim breathes, staring up at the Misty sky. "You don't remember because of that thing." He says, as black sticky ink begins to drip from his eyes.

"You don't remember … a thing … and neither do Brian or Alex or anyone else…" Wait. Brian and Alex were involved? What does he not remember? But before he can ask, Tim continues.

"I … knew you … in a life before this, if you want to call it that… you and Brian and Alex and some others…" 

_'A life … before this?'_ Jay puzzles.

"Bad things happened … so many bad things … and I wanted to undo them. I… I'd do anything to reverse the events.

He lowers his face, speaking so it ripples against the water. "I … I made a deal … I would become a lure to feed that monster … I made a wish, it was crazy but I just didn't care anymore… and then - I woke up here… you, Brian, Alex, Jessica - everyone. You were just babies … crying and screaming in the woods … but I was … I _am_ a monster … so I waited around for a group of hunters to take you all in … one day Brian wandered back into the woods as a boy, corrupted by that monster again, to try and lure me out - but I healed him and returned him home… I just wanted you all to be happy…" His throat chokes and he holds a palm over his mouth with a slip of tears.

Jay's mind storms with the chaotic information - but it lines up - Jay, Alex, Brian, Jessica, and a few others - they'd all been adopted, lost babies.

Could … all of this be true?

"I used to be human … but then I made the wish - and here we are. The price … I couldn't get close to my friends again or I would risk that _thing_ coming back… it wants me … it did all of this, as a deal - a deal I didn't even know I was signing. All of you would have a happy life, in return I would give myself over...…"

But obviously, Tim hadn't, if he's sitting here. "You … didn't give yourself up then?"

"I - I wanted to Jay but … I'm selfish … I thought … maybe if I waited long enough you'd come back to me safely … the monster would get tired and leave … I … - I wanted to see you all again so badly… if I go with that thing … I'll never know if it keeps his promise - what if he makes me hurt you? And so I just … chose to hide … like the coward I've always been…"

Jay sloshes forward, slowly moving his arms under Tim's, and lifting him up to standing.

"We should get you out of the water…"

"Yeah … ok…" 

And they make their way over to Jay's tree, sitting on the large root. And Tim recounts a tale of an entirely different world - yet at the back of his mind, familiar, locked away and muffled. And, god, is it all horrible, almost make believe, but Tim struggles with every word. Either he was the world's best actor or it was truthful to some degree.

And then Tim gets to a crescendo in the story, where he goes quiet.

"Tim?"

"I can't … I can't …"

"What …. What happened Tim, you can tell me."

"You … happened." He looks up with tears brimming his eyelids. "Alex killed you … and - I never got to apologise… for everything."

And it all makes _sense_. Their strange friendship, Tim's constant reluctance.

And …

And the way he looks at him. And all the weight and depth of the storm in that look.

This is …

This is …

-

Wait -

The static -

That thing is-

Oh. _Oh no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy we getting there 😏😈


	10. Dangerous Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay has been avoiding Tim, something he doesn't take kindly too.
> 
> Alternative Summary: "RUN AWAY I'VE GOT TOO - *BAM BAM* GET AWAY, YOU DON'T REALLY WANT ANY LOVE FROM ME"  
> Crank that shit!  
> "OHHHHOHHHH, TAINTED LOVE OHOOHOO, TAINTED LOVE"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things gone start getting saucy, pg-13 here.
> 
> Also I guess warning for uh, well without spoiling it - toxic relationships

Jay stays away - doesn't even step into the forest, he has to stay far away from Tim - so that thing will not find him.

It's all _his_ fault.

But that creature - it invades his dreams, every night, growing more and more agitated with horrible nightmares leaving him screaming and sweating.

He can't fucking stand it anymore, the bags under his eyes hurt so much - he has to go to Tim, before Jay loses all of his sanity and gives into that thing's request.

So on a particularly sunny afternoon, a good month later, he sits on a distant bank of the lake - he has to stop avoiding him eventually - and he needs to warn him…. But how? How do you tell someone you've basically bargained them up to the enemy.

" _Jay Merrick."_ Holy shit did Tim sneak up on him. He leaps half way into the air from the growl.

"T-Tim! Don't do that!" The man grabs his collar roughly, pulling Jay down to his own face.

"You've been _avoiding_ me Merrick, what gives?"

"I - I - I" He's really close… so close to his face, but his eyes are so angry he squirms.

"Do you not like me? Do you want me to go away?"

 _'Please god never go away.'_ He thinks, following with a _'Stop being love horny you idiot!'_ He should not have thought of the L word.

"No I really love you but there's a massive problem I-"

" _You what!?" It's_ too late when Jay realizes what he's said. Tim stares at him incredulously. 

Oh shit oh shit oh sh-

"Do you … mean that … the way I do?" Tim backs away from him … scratching his neck with a blush.

Jay blinks.

"I uh I uh I - I think so. You - love me too?" He blurts out.

Tim can't believe it, his jaw dropped so far fish are gonna start swimming in it.

Jay gives a little, awkward smirk, bubbling over with stupid affection, but then he scowls.

"Tim - it's not safe to be around me.. you need to leave, soon, it's-"

But Tim walks forward, stepping like a predator and Jay is frozen into silence by his stare. His feet sink into the mud. Trapped. "You _love_ me …. really …" He gives him a scrutinizing glare, now towering over him as Jay is stuck.

"Tim?" He squeaks.

He makes a noise in his throat, animalistic in response. "That's a foolish decision, you know what I _am_."

"Yes I do … you're Tim - a stupid man with a stick up his ass!"

The lashing words surprise Tim, but then he laughs, somewhat … chaotically ... grabbing Jay roughly and yanking him forward into his arms.

He steals Jay's breath, licking him on his neck - Jay's eyes go wide like circles - his tongue travels across his jugular, down to his shoulder and he feels something infectious like venom making his knees weak. It's something in his saliva drugging him, making Jay feel so heavy and needy all of the sudden. He feels his knees weaken and almost collapse out from under him. His eyes droop shut as the man tastes him and takes from him what he is willing to give.

A cold metal touches his neck.

Tim sneaks a golden band around Jay's neck, it snaps in place with a gasp at the shocking cold.

"Now you're mine, right? You can't turn back, you can't run away..." He trails a hand down his face. Jay stares back with wild, orbed eyes and then leans in.

"I guess it does…" He wraps his arms around Tim's shoulder.

"Then can I -have this?" He gently rubs at his bottom lip. Jay looks on the verge of tears.

"Yes." He whispers and Tim holds his chin firmly, finally, _finally,_ pressing their lips together.

And suddenly a path to the future opens up - one Tim considered he didn't have. But these paths lead to evil just as they do to good. He pulls back a tiny bit before coming together again.

"Your mine now … I won't let him have you for food my Blue Jay."

"Tim….." He whines, but his voice is swallowed by a heady kiss. He's pushed up into and against a rock face - he didn't even hear Tim glide through the water.

Is this not everything Jay wanted?

No. This is not what he wanted. He's lying to Tim. And Tim is acting … weird, desperate - like he can't believe anything would return his affection - like he wants to _own_ Jay.

This is bad.

He gulps as Tim ravishes his neck like it's a sweet fruit.

This is _bad._

...

Tim kisses and bites at his neck, leaving purple on white. _'Delicious.'_ His brain is cooing delightfully.

But when he looks up - Jay is full on sobbing - and the strange force breaks. Was that … his other side? "What's wrong? Jay?" He asks, brushing his tears gently with his knuckles. He's hurt him. That could be the only reason.

"You can't … you have to go. _He's coming_."

A bell rings in Tim's head. _"What?"_ He breathes out.

"He wants to kill you but - but I can't let that happen. You've got to go!"

And then it clicks finally, in his mind. His hesitancy - what Jay had been trying to say - 

That horribly familiar static bringing out that masked part of him he hadn't known in _decades_.

"Was that all just to lure _me_ in?"

"No!… I mean … I mean … I don't know. I'm not sure IF - I didn't want too … I mean in the beginning I- but now-"

" _Save it_." The words ache more than the drop to the ground on his tailbone.

"That damn thing is right - I shouldn't get close to you - or Brian or anyone - you're all going to die! I can't do that again Jay!" He shoves back again. "You're a temptress - sent by him, just to torture me - yeah, that's what you are."

"Tim what I-"

" _You're free. Do whatever you want."_ The gold collar falls with a heart breaking clatter.

"Tim! Wait! I!" He trips on a slippery rock and falls - watching as Tim flies away. Leaving him forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry it ain't gonna be toxic forever


	11. Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim rethinks his decision to run off ...
> 
> Alternative Summary: Brian has a gender reveal party in the woods

It's already too late when Tim realizes he probably overreacted. But now he doesn't know what to do - he can't just go back and _apologize_. Jay had betrayed him. Betrayed his trust and his love and … but had he _really_? From Jay's perspective … Tim is a strange monster from a past he can't even remember.

It's all too confusing.

He rubs his face.

Storming off was something old him always did. 

This … this is a difficult mess, but they need to talk it over. They need to talk through it. He can't just run away like all those times before. That's how Jay died in the first place…

He decides to walk back, to give himself some time to think about what he wants to say, but he only fixates on his guilt. That was … really shitty to do to Jay. He was probably fucking heartbroken… but so was Tim… _'Good job being melodramatic, asshole …'_ He curses at himself.

_'Just think Tim … focus on what we want to say…'_

But even he - in his years of playing this game - made the fatal mistake of leaving the only safe haven. And … he had touched Jay.

He doesn't turn his head - already knowing what's behind him, but eventually the earth does it _for him._ His irises shrink with terror and anger.

He swears it smiles behind that featureless skin. _"Timothy…."_ A cold wind.

"Tch…" He bites back a sarcastic insult.

 _"Oh I heard all of that … how cruel … I'd figure by now, you would've learned that little human's personality by now… very narrow sighted - only focusing on what's in front of him… you poor thing."_ Long white hands clasp together.

"You've never given a shit about me - I don't want your pity-"

 _"Oh but I do … "_ A thin finger tilts his chin to make him look at the faceless thing. _"How far have I chased you? All that I've done for you?"_ The finger disappears, leaving a scratch on his cheek. The creature folds it's arms behind it's back. _"More than they ever did…"_ It holds a palm in a gesture, like his friends are right over its shoulder. It bends over. " _How many years now?"_

Tim huffs and looks away, "Too many…"

 _"And all that time - they haven't changed_ **_one bit_** _. They're still the buffoons you knew oh so long ago. You want to fight for_ **_that?_ ** _They'll never care about you the way you do for the-"_

"Shut up! I know what you're trying to do!"

 _"I only speak the truth… and open eyes to it. It will all be over Timothy…."_ It's voice groans silky and deep and tempting. _"No more pain, no more suffering, you can leave this chapter behind …"_

The operator … is unfortunately right, atleast, that's how Tim perceives it. He'd held onto a desperate hope that he could be with them all. But he owed his debt. It may be time to pay off. He stares at the ground, blinking slowly, as it's tendrils gently snake in the air.

"What … do you want me to do…" He gives.

The leaves swirl around in the dark woods, climbing into the air like a tornado. A fierce searing pain begins in his head.

 _"You'll enjoy this one … a delightful first task. To take your vengeance."_ The orders burn in his hands like red charcoals. Jay - Jay - Jay - Jay - **JAY!**

Of all the people he did this for, sacrificed his life for - it was for Jay, and the man smashed it back in his face. Was going to hand him over like some sardine _lunch_. That's what he thought before - once he knew Tim well enough, saw his soft side, he lost his fear - becoming just another Alex. Another _traitor_. _Worse than Alex._ This one toyed with his heart for a deadly game.

Jay Merrick died. And _should_ be dead.

He doesn't know where the hot, iron knife came from, clutched and burning in his fists, he just knows he's going to find Jay and make it _hurt._

 _'He thinks he can use me - because he's scared of that thing!? I'll show him who he really should be afraid of - I'll show him fear_. _The bastard's probably gloating in his victory right now - ha, this'll be quite a surprise_.'

The creature doesn't even need to direct the poor man - the anger has settled in without a hitch. He leaves a path of bloody footprints, gliding between the trees and thick bracken like a knife through melted butter. He follows Jay's rancid scent, all the way down to the beach - but he only sees a man curled in on himself, endless tears soaking into his pants.

That … wasn't … expected…

 _Tick. Tick. Tick_.

Why is Jay _crying?_

He doesn't want him to cry.

He sounds sick to death on his own sobs.

 _'Stop crying … please stop crying Jay … why are you crying?'_ The water in his eyes begins melting the fury red away.

He yells, and grips his head, backing up into a tree. _'This is what it does! It makes hate! It breeds anger!_ _AND I'M FALLING FOR IT! THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!_ '

"No … I - I won't do it!" He yells, hands splayed against the tree as he drops the knife. "Just kill me …" He shakes, tears forming.

" _You still refuse me, even when he broke your heart?"_

He bites viciously at the creature, "You … you did that, you manipulated him against me, just like you do with everyone!" He begins to march to Jay - only to hit what feels like a brick wall. The operator is deathly quiet.

"Jay!" 

He pries, fingers digging into the invisible field.

 _"Then you will_ **_burn with him."_ **With that, the operator is gone from view.

"Wh-what-? What are you planning!?" His nose twitches at the smell - burning wood, leaves, foliage - he watches a deer run by, fur caught on fire. The forest is alive with angry chitters and caws.

"Oh no…."

He whirls around in a circle, the reality sinking in.

"Don't do this to Jay! Do it to me!"

**_"Your brother has already joined me, stubborn one!"_ **

That's when he sees the hooded man standing with the blaze he'd started in the woods. "Brian!" He grabs the man pulling his hood back - his eyes are distant and missing their color. ' _Shit.'_

_"Run little pig - the wolf has blown your house down."_

The pond, the willows and all, burn like hellfire, even the water goes up like gasoline. 

"No-no-no-no- JAY!? Where are you!?"

 _"You better find him - quickly now."_ It laughs at him.

He sees footprints in the sand - leading straight into the inferno of the woods. Black, twisted, and evil smoke rising.

He couldn't have … but he had.

Tim lowers his body and bolts into the orange and red, trees and bark and ash cracking under the pressure. A burning branch falls just inches from him - and over the glow - a silhouette.

He watches Jay's form absently approaching danger, lured by the hooded man - just like before - all just like before. 

"Jay! Stop!" He calls, despite the futility. His monsteric self detects the distress he's in - black feathers peeling from his skin and the white mask-like face taking form. It will buy him an extra minute at most. The ash fall here looks like a forest that has burned for hours, he trudges through it like hot snow, reaching out for the distant form, seeing flashes of yellow hoodie among the flames.

"J-" He coughs and hacks, smoke burning far worse than any cigarette he's had. "J-ay!" He croaks out. He's sweating, both clear and inky fluid - and Jay's figure has all but vanished.

He summons his strength, crying out again. _"_ JAY!"

He spins around, the only response the crackling blaze. Everything is burning. His home. His forest. In slow-motion, a tree falls behind him, leaving an arc of fire as it goes, embers scattering upon impact.

He's going to lose everything. 

_Again_.

How can he be so useless?

He can't give up yet - not until he's dead.

"Jay!?" He calls out to the blaze - he can't - fucking - breathe - he has to keep going, but without command, the world shifts and slides, he begins falling to his knees, and he can't get up..' _What's happening… body … please … move … I'm not ….. done …. yet….'_

"Timmmm!" He hears the echo through the flames, before it all goes black.


	12. The Tragedy of Swan Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay makes a deal.
> 
> Alternative Summary: I DIDN'T WRITE IT DOWN BUT I KNOW Y'ALL IMAGINING JAY IN A TUTU I KNOW IT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Swan lake music intensifies*

His heart, his eyes, his brain - he's not sure which - is leading him towards that _sound_. He skids under the dying embers on brush and through piles of ash, once stable trees are crumbling and splitting, splinters flying. _That was no ordinary fire._

Spot streaks his face, mixed with the tears, which now are for the irritating smoke.

He can't stay in place long, so foolishly, he's been running - his toe tripping on an apparent log he missed, face first into burnt wood flakes.

He twists around and finds that this log is very much human, and very much Tim. 

"Tim!" His body is scraped and streaked with the gray mess, patches of once thick black feathers dried and frayed.

"The fires out come on - the fires out Tim!" He shakes and rolls the man into his back, pressing an ear to his chest, he can just barely make out a heartbeat.

"Tim! Please!" He's crying tears on his face, glistening one by one, leaving trails in the soot stains. He will not rouse. The fire has done too much damage to his lungs.

"Please! You have to wake up!"

Is this his fault? What could've caused that fire … but some demonic act of the devil. He'd come for Tim … and yet - it had taken the whole forest.

_"Well, this is unprecedented."_

A thick gust blasts the ash away from them, leaving the scorched earth, Jay, and a downed man. _And a faceless monster._ He pulls Tim into his arms covering him like a shell, as if he can protect him. His teeth grimace and his eyes light with fury and shock, mixtures of anger and fear directed at the approaching creature.

 _"I certainly hadn't expected you to survive this long … it seems your mind is stronger than it was_ **_before._** " 

He's too frightened to answer immediately to this thing. He's small. He's _weak._ Trapped by its shadow.

"Y-you … this was … this was your deal with him… the swan thing…" If he's going to die, he's not going down without a bite.

_"Yes … I am the one who turned him - his alluring nature, to drag more victims into the depths of these woods … he is much more useful as a 'magical swan' than a servant."_

"But why … why are you doing this!?"

_"Why, why, why. You humans always want to know why, how, what, when, who, where. Your brains cannot function without it. You cannot fathom creatures with no reason."_

Jay lets out a harsh breath, staring down at Tim again with teary eyes, then back again at the faceless face, gulping. "Is … is there something … I can do ... that will let him … live a quiet life? Something you want?"

It's tendrils slither, sliding against one another sickeningly slow. _"Perhaps … are you proposing - a deal?"_ It drawls like pipe smoke, cocking its head to the side.

He should think about this, but the slowing heart beat beneath his fingers answers for him.

"What do you want...?"

_"I want … no - I'd rather give you something, to take away another … yes … that will do."_

"Give … me something?"

 _"Yes, you see, He has failed to lure and entice as was promissssseddddd."_ He curls, it feels like the monster is in his lungs, holding him to the spot with heat and ice, a vice around his heart. _"But you … you will make up nicely for those mistakes."_

He's not even sure what the thing is insinuating, but it doesn't need permission, Jay's heart has already given it. He accepts the fate ahead of him.

And then his skin sizzles and cracks, his bones feel like they're melting, an invisible leash tightening around his neck like that collar. He lets out one last cry before disappearing.

He's under several feet of pond water, moonlight filtering through the murky green, his hands scraping for the surface, but his hands are gone. His legs thrash about but there's no strength to them. By pure desperation he makes it the surface.

He flops around, kicking his feet to swim, his hands smacking the surface - except his feet are nothing but webs, and his head turns to see that his hands are flailing white wings. A swan that doesn't know how to swim… how pitiful. He splashes around until his bill can latch onto a root, and pull himself up on the willow tree.

"HONK!" _What? He said Tim!_

He figures out how to walk on his stubby legs, calling out for Tim, but all that comes out is loud, crying honks, sounding silly and foolish.

 _He_ is the swan now.

He lets out a lower chirp in heartbreak, trying to look around, but the banks of the beach are too high to climb. He looks like a rather mad swan, ruffling around in the sand and honking in frustration, still trying to use his hands as wings.

_This is what happened to him …_

Once he figures out how to swim, he calls out all night, until his voice is nothing but a hiss. No one comes. No one ever comes. No one ever comes for him. Just like before… A breeze sweeps over the pond, bringing a lost memory to him, one he knew was true, deep down. Alex really had shot him - _not Tim_ \- and he died alone in some cold stone room, under such bright lights. His eyes drip glowing tears, spiraling little lights down into the pond.

He spends months and months of loneliness, swimming around the pond, crying tears into the moonlit pools. Tim hasn't returned … and Jay doubts he will. But the evil spirit said he would free Tim from servitude. If Jay's theory is right, he should still be half swan, _'It gives, doesn't take'_ … he could get away … fly somewhere more beautiful and free than here. Jay just wishes … he could've said goodbye.

But he is determined to keep this deal. He'll finally be happy... So Jay does as he is told - he dances like a puppet on a string, the only times he's human, dancing with elegant white feathers and his lithe, pale form on the surface of the water like magic, drawing those unlucky souls in with his allure - leading them farther and farther into the dark reeds until they meet their doom. 

To everyone else - he is a swan. He saw Brian one day - Honking his ears off chasing him, please, _please help me!_ But he just kept going, running away from Jay - seeing only a pissed-off swan.

But his heart is breaking … he wants to see Tim again, he needs to know for sure. The monster tells him nothing when it comes to visit.

One day he saw a black swan and rushed toward it profusely, but it wasn't him - just another bird … a rather angry one, chasing and biting him around the swamp.

Spring is here … again… flowers are falling in the lake, it's sunny and beautiful. He should be happy… he should be sunning his feathers, but all he can do is sit on the willow root all day. He raises his long neck to look at the leaves above.

**_KAPOW!_ **

He lets out a startled honk as there is a splash in the pond, rotating his head towards the noise. Now he really _i_ _s_ an angry swan.

And of course _it's him._

Alex always was a worse shot then him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex has fucking stormtrooper aim


	13. Two Birds of a Feather Go Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends and lovers meet again.
> 
> Alternative Summary: Swan hugs bro, swan hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally heeeeeerrreeee 
> 
> Non-descriptive smut towards the end of the chapter

_A month ago, after the fire:_

All Tim knows … he's alive … and that thing hasn't bothered him for even a moment and he can hold his human form. He is miles away from the pond and nothing has come to drag him back.

This is quite alright.

He didn't even have to start over from scratch, finding an abandoned little bog cabin. It's moldy, out of shape, but it's shelter. It will do. He can just … live out his life… Well, so he thought.

 _Knock. Knock_. "Hello, is anyone here!?"

Who the hell is all the way out here - wherever here is? But another moment of thinking produces an answer - that sounded like _Alex_. The happy Alex. … What the fuck does the world want from him!? He opens the door. "Hello?"

"Oh! Good day strang-"

"TIM!"

Brian shoves Alex and comes barreling at him with open arms. Even after switching whole ass worlds, Tim always forgot that here, Brian and Alex are friends (according to Brian, much more than that) but seeing them together is still a shocker.

"Hey…" He can't help but smile returning the sunny man's grip.

"Thank goodness - we thought something happened to you during that fire!"

"Oh, no, no I got out…" He pats his back.

Alex blinks. "Wait I thought this guy was half swan?"

"He - he is - just not right now!" 

He snorts, it's nice to see them get along.

"So, what brings you guys out here?"

"We've been looking for you and Jay everywhere!"

 _Jay? "_ Jay's not … with you?"

"No, we thought he might've escaped with you."

"Yeah you two could make a good little bungalow together!" Alex teases. Brian rolls his eyes but ignores him.

"No, I haven't seen him at all … not since …" _Not since the fire._ Tim goes pallard. "I haven't … heard from him…"

He's not dead, that monster wouldn't have let him die, not when he's a pawn that can be manipulated. Jay is his ultimate weakness and it _knows that. It_ _wouldn't_ kill Jay - _it needs Tim to kill him._ It's power only grows from people killing their loved ones, their friends. It _still needs Jay. It will keep resetting the world until it gets what it wants from Tim. Stop breathing so heavily. It needs Jay. He wouldn't be dead. He's not dead. HE'S NOT DEAD!_ "Where have you looked?" He snaps.

"We've walked by the lake, through the forest - but there's just ash in a lot of it … most of the animals have moved down to the water's edge, it's still lush there… but there's no sign of Jay, not even-" He cuts off there.

Tim sighs, chewing his hand, a habit he still can't shake. "I'm sure … he's just moved away? He talked about all the pressures living there… maybe he just … left?"

It's not convincing in the slightest. Brian furrows his brow, and it's a painful sight to see. "But … why would he just … leave?"

"Yeah, Jay is a bit of a loner but he wouldn't just leave …" Alex says. "He could be in trouble …"

He's being put on the spot. "Well - look I don't know where he went, and if he left so suddenly he probably wanted to be alone, so you should just leave it be…"

Brian takes a step closer into the doorway. "Did … did something happen between you two?"

"It sure seems like it-"

"No! Nothing happened!"

"Tim, please help us look-"

"He doesn't want to be found!" A few feathers burst from his arm with a sharp pain, yelling, "Jay doesn't want to see me again, no way in hell! Just leave it be! Leave me be!" slamming the door and in the process almost knocking over his visitors.

 _He's a fucking mess…._ He slides down against the door, crying silently. There's a few more knocks, a few more calls of his name, but eventually, they too leave. "What am I even doing … I don't want to push them away …" But he knows. His presence is bad luck. Death. Fire. Blood. Maybe Jay got far, far away from here, so far that thing couldn't even dream of messing with him again. 

The forest fire was Tim's last warning. He can _not_ talk to them anymore. He needs to go far, farther into the woods where no one will ever find him again - he won't be selfish anymore, he'll stay _away_. For good this time. He'll leave tomorrow.

So … tomorrow comes and goes, and so does the next week, the next month, and each night he tells himself "Tomorrow, tomorrow for sure." But there's always something that gets in his way, a tear in his clothes he has to sew together, a broken porch step that he can't just leave alone, a hole in the roof that would just be insulting not to fix.

_Tomorrow._

\---

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

" **HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!** " Jay is madly chasing Alex around the muddy bank, nipping at his pant leg, circling around him so he cannot escape.

"Get away from me you crazy goose!"

"HONK!" _'I'm a motherfuckin swan!'_

"I'M SORRY I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!" This is one big ass goose.

Jay flaps his wings angrily, tripping the man and blocking his exit and simultaneously playing a game of charades.

"What do you want? Fish?"

He bob's his head down. "HONK HONK HONK!" He drags his bill in the mud.

"Crazy bird!" 

He dances around the straight line, looking at the line - then Alex - back at the line, flattening his wings along it.

"What is wrong with -" He notices. "-you…"

Jay waddles backwards as he draws the loop of the first letter. J. Then stares at Alex.

"Huh … one artistic bird." 

He honks at the frustratingly stupid man, then sets to work drawing the A. Then Y. He gives Alex the best puppy dog look a swan can muster, wobbling his little legs side to side.

"..." He stares at the writing in the mud. "Jay?"

"HONK!" He nods his head. 

"I think I'm going crazy… but … is it really you?" 

"HONK HONK!"

"Wait - if you understand me … flap your left wing once…"

He sticks it out and waves it around.

"Holy shit… ok - one honk for yes, two honks for no - are you Jay Merrick?"

"HONK!"

"Oh my god - JAY! He scoops the big bird up into his arms, squeezing the chubby feather loaf and spinning around in a circle. "It's you! What happened!? You've been gone forever! How are you a swan!? Why are you a swan!?"

Jay chutters delightfully, even in the rib crushing grip, wrapping his neck around Alex like a hug.

He opens his bill, a reminder he cannot talk, so the man sets him down.

"Oh gosh … alright… what can I do - should I take you back to the village?"

"Honk honk!"

"Uh … okay … do you want to stay here?"

"Honk honk!"

"Oh thank goodness, I don't think I can stand leaving you here - oh god how am I going to explain to everyone that you're a swan - I'm so sorry Jay…"

He nibbles him gently with his bill.

"Right … right… do you need me to take you somewhere?"

"Honk!" He runs for the edge of embarkment, displaying how he can't climb the side.

But then his hope dies … Alex doesn't know who Tim is ….

He follows Jay over, "Brian said you and this guy - Tim, got stuck in the fire … Tim got out but-"

"HONK HONK HONK!"

He waddles back, vigorously pushing dirt around to spell out T.I.M.

"Do you … want to go to Tim?"

"HONK!"

"Ah! But you're stuck in here!"

"Honk!"

"Ok bud -" He picks Jay up again, gentler this time. "- I've got you covered, I know the way!"

Oh bless his sudden luck! He chitters happily, fluffing his feathers and shaking with delight.

Alex scrambles up the embankment, and starts marching through the woods, hopefully towards Tim.

-

It's several miles into the dense thicket, over a few crossing and winding waterways - more than one Alex slips on - before they arrive at a fairytale dark alcove.

As they approach, the bird becomes heavier, feathers shedding like a thick coat, and Jay unfurls from the bundle. It's proof … Tim is nearby - and he still feels something for him.

"Oh my god Jay it really is you!" Alex shouts with glee. Jay completely forgets any modesty, hugging him.

"Thank you, Thank you Alex, thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!" He backs off slightly with embarrassment, and wraps himself in the feathery coat.

"Here!" Alex swings off his long deerskin coat.

"Thank you so, so much!" He slips the warm, tough thing over his shoulders, and the swan coat disappears right into his flesh.

"Tim! We need to get you too Tim! This way -" Then Jay is dragged through the thicket, coming upon a small, decrepit house. It's only on the doorstep does he realize how woefully unprepared he is to face Tim - but Alex is already pounding on the door like madman.

"Alex - for the last time I'm not buying your blueberries. I'm sure they taste fine." (Really - he had actually meant it when he would leave today)

 _It's him_!

The door opens, and there's a look of annoyance on the now-bearded man's face - then curious eyes land on his other visitor. "Jay…"

Alex takes one look at Jay's face, and then Tim's.

"Uh - I'm going to go back and get Brian - you too uh … have fun!?" 

"Alex!" But he's running away before they can even stop him. He hugs the coat closer to his torso, turning back around to the man above him. "... Hi."

"Jay-"

"Before you say anything-"

"No before you say anything-"

 **""I'm sorry.""** They say at once.

Both boil with imperceivable emotions under the surface of their skin, not able to meet eyes out of fear the bubble will pop. Until Jay bites his cheek a little too hard sending anger through his nerves. "Ow!" Hand flying to his cheek.

"Why did you come back … even after…"

"I never left in the first place!" He erupts, thrusting an accusing finger. "I stayed in the lake - I - I wondered everyday if you were ever going to come back!?" His words ache. 

Tim steps back in the doorway, prolonged sigh. "Jay - you need to leave me behind. You never saw me, we never met, we never -"

"I'M NOT GOING BACK TIM!" He snaps, and as he says it, white needles begin peeling from his skin. "Oh shit-" He sprouts a tear or two as his teeth shift, serrated and sharp, skin piercing like pins - he _needs_ to scratch. He hides his face, cowering, more and more feathers protruding out, until he's somewhere between a beautiful white bird and a man. A monster.

He dares to peek through the slits between white fans. Tim backs up from him, petrified, fearful. 'What _did I expect..._ ' Jay sighs. A step forward.

"What … what did it do to you?" His face indiscernible, numb. "What did it do to you!?" His voice trembles.

"My humanity … I gave up my humanity … for your life."

"J-jay you ... you can't-"

"I already did Tim." His demeanor stern."It has a leash on me now." Fingers coil around the invisible collar choking his neck, a constant reminder. "I have to return before nightfall… before he finds out."

"You - you can't! That's what we've been fighting against-!"

"You were dying _Tim_! You weren't breathing! What was I supposed to fucking do!? Let you die!?"

The darker swan is hurt, stunned - all this time he wouldn't dare become that thing's slave, even to save Jay. But Jay had made the choice in a heartbeat. To save _him._ "So … you've done it … you've _danced_ for it…"

His face shadows over, sinking into an abyss Tim knows all too well. " _Yes_ ………. you're no longer the only one with blood on his hands…" 

"Jay…." He begins to cry. "I'm not important enough for this, not for your life." And hearing that _aches._ Watching Tim get upset has always hurt. He needs action rather than words, so Jay takes the initiative.

"I would give you my life …" Jay reaches out, a hand on his face - he doesn't shy away from it - as the tears pour over, traveling the line between his cheek and Jay's thumbs.

"You don't even know Jay - you don't even remember…"

"Maybe I don't, but I'm still Jay, aren't I?" Tim's brow trembles a moment, a break in his act.

"Yeah and we're both - twisted! Before the fire - that wasn't healthy, I practically forced myself on you! That's not - that's not love, that's just desperation. I was desperate! For any scrap of affection or love I could get! You just happened to come along!"

"But …" He thinks for a moment to counter - "Brian has come to you for several more years then I have. You could've made your move on him. But you chose _me. Why?"_

Tim freezes - "Maybe … maybe you were just an easier _target_."

He steps closer to the panicking man. "When you told me about the past, those weren't the eyes of some evil manipulator crying next to me." The sadness the shorter feels is returned in his expression, gently rubbing thumbs across his cheekbones. "You felt so terrible, you changed fate itself … for us. All of us. Right?"

"I…" Brick and mortar walls crumble like water on dust. 

"Don't lie to me."

" _How … how could you do it Jay…"_ He sobs, but the question is dead, he just murmurs it into his shoulder, an echo in a well. 

The feathers, instead of receding, plume a more pristine and angelic white as he holds him, safely tucked away in his warm arms. And the words - _the feeling_ \- falls out in a sweet whisper of his heart baring true. 

" _Because I love you."_ The world of crickets and cicadas go quiet around them, and only the lapping of the pond a few meters behind them echoes in their own little world. Tim stiffens, digging teeth into his bottom lip to hold back the cave of emotions in his chest begging to come out. He gives the man his lips as an outlet, leaning in tenderly, and out pours each bottled, boiling, simmering feeling he's kept for years upon years and expected to die with. Thoughts of _'I don't deserve this_ ' fizzle away, kissing back like his lips are soft and fragile, yet warm and malleable.

When they part, Tim relieves a sigh, followed by a small smile. "There's my love." Jay says, foreheads pressed to one another.

"So much … I want to tell you … things I think you should remember for yourself … before calling me those words…"

"Do you really think it will change my mind now?" He lilts, a sweet twist to his lips.

"I … mmmm- you - ugh." He sighs in frustration.

"With all the time we've known each other, I think we're both terrible at … talking. It's like we're speaking two different languages."

Chestnut eyes, covered by dark lashes, pause to consider this, a soft ripple passing between them. "Action … we speak better through action…" A hand moves down to rest at Jay's hip, stepping backwards off the porch. "But my actions haven't always been the best … for you… the best treatment of you."

"Then we can start over." He folds their fingers together, pulling Tim back with him. "From the top…"

And when feet ripple the surface of the water, they do not sink, but remain there. The coat is shed revealing the white feathers sprouting from the crests of his hips, his forearms, the sides of his calves, the borders of his scalp, lips turning black with an orange stripe down the middle. His skin is speckled with gold and silver flakes, and soft downy feathers, well plumaged but not gaudily so.

 _Divine._ _Heavenly. Beautiful._

Jay's feet point and he bows in a beautiful arc, looking up at Tim with still blue eyes. Dark and stormy but striking all the same. _'A monster who can dance.'_ That's what he once called himself, but Jay certainly looks like no monster. Maybe that's what makes him dangerous, how alluring he is, with milk pale skin stretched over angular ribs and hip bones.

It's been a looonnnggg while since he took up a dance form, he thinks as he sheds clothes away without second thought. His lips percolate with full black, raven dark feathers with a rainbow sheen sprouting from all the same places, but long and full and gorgeous. Jay gasps as he steps forward, the area around his eyes darkening a thick jet black. Unlike his fellow maiden however, his nails lengthen into short silvery claws, the same with his feet, and sharp white canines poke between his lips. 

When he finally reaches his partner, he now looks down on him, a feathery crown blowing in the misty breeze. He takes his hands with adoration that looks almost predatory, but giddy all the same. Jay takes a step back. He follows, a hand shifting down to his shoulder. The water splashes beneath them but does not give, like liquid glass. Hands quickly find their way onto hips, fingers digging into white feathers, swaying Jay gently. He takes two steps forward. Jay takes two back. 

They move in time to a silent song, almost sinfully in sync with one another, even as Jay dips back and arches his body like the sweet weep of a willow branch kissing the surface of the water, and Tim supports him there, bending to chase him. The soul music swells and around they spin, wherever will they stop? No one knows, both glowing with ethereal light that shouldn't exist. None of this should exist. Though that fact matters little when earthy eyes meet stormy blue.

"I've lived almost 50 years in total, and yet there's nothing quite comparable to your beauty."

Jay blushes until his porcelain skin turns pink, and he rests his arms around Tim's shoulders. " _You could murder with those words …"_ He mumbles back, receiving a peck.

"I've also learned a few tricks of my own during this time…" His hand rests at Jay's neck, and there's no warning before he feels a tug deep in his throat. Tim cuts through the air, grabbing at the spiritual form of a collar, and shattering it like glass.

"Wh-what!? I-"

"You don't belong to anyone Jay … you should be free."

"But Tim, it'll come back for you! It-"

"Then I will take responsibility for this." He rubs his face. "Please Jay, let me do this." Tim's face is pure adoration, sparkling behind his eyes, and Jay finds all of his words gone, consumed by worry and pure, unadulterated love.

 _"Stay with me_. _I love you also._ " He reassures, never letting go, even as his mouth, his taste, is abruptly overflooding with his jaybird, his swan, _his._ He still tastes sweet as honey, and the smell is enriching. Even in this separate life, there's still a quiet undertone of scent that is Jay's own, that has never left him.

And Jay makes it pretty clear that he is not going anywhere, digging his fingers into the warm muscle between Tim's neck and shoulder, petting a hand through supple chest hair, speckled with a few downy feathers. This seems to stoke the flames pretty well, as he tightens his resolve and groans into Jay's shoulder, hands scrabbling anywhere to press into his warm flesh, wanting so badly to mark him _but not yet - not yet-_

"I've wanted to touch you like this for so long… to kiss you, to taste you…" He searches his mouth with a wet tongue. "Years Jay … I'll always wait." His partner can only respond with a long moan, losing himself to the haze. It ruffles the darker's feathers. "Shit, I forgot it does that when I'm excited-" Tim pants with a laugh.

He holds none of his pleasure back, not even a slight tease, just lets it go and gives him all that he wants and more.

Jay wraps his legs around his waist.

Tim holds his weight, kneading into his rump.

Jay cries out song-sweet as they meet-

On the bank, Alex returns with Brian, more than elated to see Jay is, infact, alive. 

Very alive. 

Very _very alive._

"What are th-"

"Alex! Shoo! Let's go!"

"What - will you quit that!?" With more than a fuss he pulls Alex into the woods, giving the two love birds some privacy.

The two don't break apart until he's being dropped and pinned to the quilts on Tim's bed - momentary of course, as they dive back in to take all that they can - air, teeth, flesh, heat, scent, sound - all of it is bliss.

_There is a creature in my bed,_

_That's not quite human, not quite bred,_

_But it's skin tastes like marble,_

_And it's kisses like sweet milk,_

_And I've fallen for the worst kind of trap,_

_So cry me a river, because I'm dying._

Before long, the white swan is gone in ecstacy. All he can feel is his body, bent in half, being rocked to high heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness I'm back. I had a huge huge HUGE fire call two days ago which we were at for a total of 7 hours. Long story short, everyone's okay - everything aches. But it was worth it because someone bought us like 250 chicken wings and donuts.


	14. Crescendo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last fight.
> 
> Alternative Summary: This is what every swan imagines themselves to be vs what they really are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence, tis a fight to the death.

Of course.

All good things must come to an end.

But not without a fight.

They stand on the precipice. He gives Jay's hand a squeeze under the full moon, as the ever eerie, enchanting fog pours over the lake, towards the little cabin.

It's here. And it's not happy. It's not visible yet - but a large charge of static hits them. Jay grips his head and falls to his knees. But these things barely seem to affect him.

_"Alone? Have you finally grown a pair fledgeling?"_

Two guns crack through the night, not doing much in regards to wounding the thing, but at least they _hit._ Brian and Alex are out further in the woods, out of its range, and it hasn't been able to pick out who's who. 

Silver bullets, copper balls. Every superstition in the book he's employing here tonight, a line of herbs igniting into green fire, creating a brief wall between them and it. His only real hope is the beast within - but it is suspiciously quiet, dormant. So he transforms halfway himself, and he charges. Scratching and clawing at it, cutting it's tendrils in half, only for them to grow back. _It has to have a breaking point_ ** _._** _Where it can't regenerate anymore._

The guns crack off again, from different positions. And Jay is coming to his senses, hissing at the creature alongside Tim.

_Beat it back. Drive it back._

Of course, he knows, it would never be this easy. The world shifts and they're separated in an unfamiliar patch of woods.

 _Separate and Conquer._ Those are its methods.

Jay stays quiet, hidden in the brush, but he stands out more than Tim, like moonlight shining on water.

"I've lost sight!" Brian yells.

Shit. He's the only one that can get close to it - time to figure out if it's mortal. Claws on one hand, knife in the other he moves through the thick night. 

He barely notices it right on top, until a crack of orange sparks light up the night, Alex shooting point blank at the Operator. It leaves a slowly closing hole - and Jay - oh his poor, sweet, but rash swan - takes the moment to rake at the wound.

Tim should be saying something. Some kind of orders. Someone should at least be _talking_. But they're all silent, too caught up in trying to not die. Alex is way too close, Jay is exposed, Brian is unknown. They're coming to the edge of a cliff, a 30 meter drop of a waterfall roaring below. There wasn't much of a plan to begin with but it's all going _wrong._

"Jay get off!" And he listens for a change, pushing himself away.

The tamping rod from Alex's gun clinks to the ground and he's lining up another shot.

"Alex back up!"

He's about to fire, but hesitates a moment too long from the order shouted in his ear.

His eyes cloud over, and he's twisting his waist as around with that _face_. 

Jay can see down the barrel of the rifle.

"Alex? Alex!" 

**_CRACK._ **

The musket round flies, and the blast of metal pellets hits him, tearing through his chest.

The world's weight falls on him and Tim is running to him - he thinks he yells, but the sound isn't audible over the ringing in his ears.

Alex snaps back to reality. "Oh my god … oh my god what have I done!?"

"Alex go get help! Now! This isn't the time!" He hesitates, then nods, tears in his eyes, and goes crashing through the underbrush.

He grabs fumbling, unseeing hands, Jay's world going as dark as the rock around him, scooping Jay into his arms and trying to hold the wound from both sides.

"D-don't give in - don't let him take you, please, please Tim promise me-"

"I promise you Jay. I promise."

"Thank you my love… thank you…"

"Just hang on a little longer Jay, help is coming." 

"We both know … there's … not … enough … time…"

"Jay?" He shakes his shoulders. "JAY!" His skin is no longer a creamy pale, but a sick, drywall tone.

_"Give up."_

Red - and he's transforming faster than ever - back into a normal swan, fanning his wings out to the limit and hissing at the demon. _It laughs_. He's snatched like a pigeon and it _squeezes him, breaking him,_ until he's screeching back into his human body, dropped like a carcass to be discarded, his arms hanging broken and limp at his sides.

_"Give up."_

"Never."

And over.

And over.

And over.

He _destroys_ him, tears him apart until he's screaming bloody murder. Beats him purple. Then heals him just to repeat the process. This is the price he's paying for his actions.

He won't _give._

Like tug of war, it scrapes him towards that center line, but he digs his heels and holds his ground, even as blood bubbles from his mouth, his wild eyes. He will _never_ let pain make him forget this creature, The Operator. A being dreamed from his own head as a child. He. Will. Not _. Succumb_.

Brian is sneaking up on it and throws a dagger, then another.

"Fuck off!!!" Alex yells, firing another round into it's back. A hand raises mildly, a weak wave of electric rumbling washing over them, but it fails to bring them under the creature's control.

Tim spits frothy blood out of the way. "You've lost! Admit it! You lost then and you've lost now! And you'll always lose! You're a fake! A nightmare come to life!" Brian and Alex are too worried to think about what Tim is even saying, nor the fact that they cannot hear the blank-faced demon.

" _I will never_ **_lose_ ** _… you were promised to me - and I will hunt you down for as long as it takes - I will kill them over and over until you_ **_yield_** _."_

"I'll never join you… I'm not _yours._ "

_"You've lost your enthusiasm … will you watch him die again?"_

He looks back at Jay.

_'I'll always wait.'_

He throws his weight around Jay, and drags him over the falls …

_Ping_ goes the water, nothing but a giant mass of bubbles to light their way into the river, darker than night.bThey float a few seconds, before Tim pulls Jay with him.

He sees a figure in the gloom, disfigured, the silhouette of a fire helmet in the smoky water.

"Yo wrong story dude! This is a different fanfic…"

"What?"

"Go back!"

His face is shoved back into the water.

The next vision is back in the former world … people walk past - but they don't notice him sitting in the middle of the street. ' _Move.'_ He's holding his breath to remain here. His eye catches a familiar dumpster … this has to be it. Why else would he be here?

Just as his vision gets spotty, he finds it, ripping it from the garbage. He falls back - but doesn't hit pavement.

Back in the cold water - Jay sinks with a constant red trail. He tries giving him mouth to mouth with the remaining breath he has, but Jay won't stir.

"Jay!" He shouts through the bubbles. He should be healing, he needs to _heal_. But the Operator must be controlling that aspect. Telling himself not to panic isn't working anymore. He can't let Jay die _again_. And now, a continuation of his cruel punishment, he's forced to watch it happen between his fingers.

Is there really …

Nothing he can do?

Is this what life will be?

Another 20 years of solitude, just to meet Jay and watch him die again...

Or he could give in … it would all be over then.

Jay doesn't want that.

Steady hands place the mask over his face and he wraps himself around the man's body, shutting his eyes tight, in an attempt to block out the world - wherever they drift - they'll drift together. 

He'll wait. Even if it takes forever.

.

.

.

There is something … the faceless demon miscalculated. It'd sprouted from the seeds Tim planted, and in turn it planted its _own_. The "masked man". And even though the small fledgling had always been disobedient, it knew he would eventually bow, and it would be _unstoppable_ _._ Nothing will best it with the creator under control.

But now, after all this time, and with no master around … that "fledgling" had grown-up, stronger and more independent than anticipated - and it wasn't about to give over it's freedom. Not when it had just gained its final piece. And despite it being a pain in the ass to Tim's life - the black eyed creature hated that thing far more.

The beast lets out a low rumble, traveling through the water and into the earth. A call. A wakening. Black lips split open and trace over skin and cloth. Flesh, a familiar pulse. Is this not the beast's mate? Crashing and burning to the bottom of a cold river? No. Most certainly not allowed.

Darkness...

-Jay tries to scream! But finds something in the way - the feeling of a hundred sharp points sinking into his neck, singeing, hot pain, even more excruciating then whatever hit him before. He's surrounded by a thick enclosing space as clawed hands dig into his back. He knows Tim is near, as heat erupts in his body. It hurts - it burns - he clings tighter. Somehow he knows, the pain will be over soon, and he will be forever changed. It will be ok.

-

The operator stands on the banks of this icy little pocket dimension. He knows they will surface here. Tim and his little "beast" can only hold their breath for so long.

A couple of bubbles, then a furious cloud of them. Elegant Feathers fan out in long tides, throwing waves of water, curling and unfurling like black flower petals, to reveal a very _pissed_ looking face.All white, large black eyes and lips in a sharp grimace. He looks over his shoulder at the wretched creature, holding Jay close to his chest.

He roars at the thing, gnashing his teeth, dodging it's lashing swipes for him. Satisfaction as he rips into it, but squashed when a wing is captured. He is strong. Tugging the wing back manages to throw the faceless thing off, but where one is cut, two more ropes of black grow out.

Before he can be overwhelmed, a flash of white joins him, smaller, with less feathers, but with the same dark eyes and huge teeth, standing in front of him defensively. The Operator goes for his relatively unprotected skin, and Tim pulls the smaller into his wings.

Two monsters created to destroy the first.

They screech and lash out until they're pushing it back into the frozen woods. Fickle claws and teeth and feathers spawned of an intense hatred, of endless suppression and abuse suffered by this creature. Because the operator is not human, it forgot another fundamental rule.

All things come back to bite. Literally. Pain turning into muscle fiber, tears solidified into feathers, screams into _power._ Some of the many things that fuel a monster.

In an opening, the larger beast launches itself, his teeth sink into real, unbidden flesh, and black blood spurts out.

 _"You!-"_

But Jay is clinging to his back, shredding out the multiplying tendrils with his crushing jaws.

_More. They're almost there._

It tries to shake the white monster off, but he holds in place, the black monster praying at his neck again.

It can't get them off - how can they win? How could they-

Tim's claws finally break through the repulsing metal, gorging them across its neck before being tossed to the ground and stamped on.

But that is it's last mistake, to piss off Jay. The white swan finishes him, taking his head clean off. The already stick-like body goes rigid for the last time. Still, Tim cuts and slices through its chest before he's satisfied.

The swan monster chirps for his mate. It is over, and the creature who so ruefully disturbed them is dead. They can finally return to a dormant sleep with their family.

Totheark is reunited once again.

\---

Tim awakens on the river bank with a cough, wiping his face (only smearing more mud) trying to push himself out of the mess, only to be knocked down by a large, bludgeoning thing on his back. Black wings. He gasps, brain trying to register the extra set of bulky, practically useless limbs weighing him down, hitting himself a few times in the process, before finally stretching both of them out fully.

He's _human_ \- relatively speaking, but feathers run down his back, his forearms, his calves, a few sticking out of his scalp still amongst his hair. His nose a little pointier, skin speckled with black in areas, and his fingers just a bit more pointed.

His body is stuck somewhere between transformation and not - but it's all worth it - Jay's lying a few feet away. Alive.

He crawls over the white winged man, shaking him and gently coaxing him back to consciousness.

He shoots to life and rolls on his knees, slapping Tim away (accidentally), gagging, coughing and sputtering, feathers soaked and frazzled.

"Keep it up Jay, Keep coughing it up." He pukes up copious amounts of water from his lungs, hoarse and hacking for several minutes to rid himself of liquid. 

"Ti-" He's interrupted by another coughing fit.

"Tim - I remember, I remember everything! How - how did you live? How did you beat Alex? How did-" He returns back to the fit, and Tim rubs his back, hiding the wetness in his eyes.

"I'll tell you Jay … I promise I'll tell you everything…"

He grabs around the torso of the man, stroking the feathers that sprout out of his spine, assisting the painful coughing with some back blows.

Brian and Alex lay nearby - a relieved sigh when their chests rise and fall in rhythm.

Jay plops down on the ground once checking on their friends, dead asleep, and Tim sits on guard, wings spread, just waiting for it to return, to _take_ from him. He doesn't notice his eyes drooping, nor the arms of his wings, nor when he lays stomach first, covering the four like a giant blanket. _God it feels so good to sleep without the ever looming threat when he awakens._

\---

_Poke_. His nose twitches, nostril itching.

"Hey it's alive!"

 _Poke poke._ Now it's his wing, which he shifts a bit.

"Woah-ho-ho! It's so big!" Something - someone is lifting up his wing. No, actually, multiple 'someones' are.

"This one's white guys!"

"But yeah this one's wings are bigger!" 

"No they aren't - did you even get a meh-zure-ing stick!?"

"Why are they naked?"

"Eww!"

"Hehehehe butt."

"Why is Alex sleeping?"

"My mommy says Alex gets drunk and passes out!"

"Well my dad said that was a myth - it was the other Alex."

"I only know one Alex!"

"There's like … Ten gazillion Alex's!"

And then something is poking his butt and _that is_ **_quite_ ** _enough!_ Tim's eyes snap open to a gaggle of children climbing on them like they're a playground.

"Hey!"

"Ahhhhh!"

He wraps himself up offendidly in his wings.

"What are you doing!? Where's your parents- you can't just be out in the woods alone!"

"Yeah we can!"

"Do you eat babies?" A girl asks.

Tim grunts, but resigns. "No… but I do eat little children's _fingers_!" He growls, and some of the kids scream and back off, but come back giggling.

"RAWR!"

They scream again, but still return laughing. Brian groans, grabbing his head. "What in the fu-"

"Uncle Brian!" 

"-dge - Hey kiddos, what are you doing out here?"

"Uncle Brian where did you get the bird man!?"

"Uhhhhhhh…." Tim shrugs. "Well, In a bird's nest!"

"Woah!"

"How big is it!"

"Uhhhh really big!"

"We wanna see it! Yeah! See it!" A bunch of kids chant, jumping up and down.

"I'll show you later - but first you have to go back to the village and get your hiking shoes!"

"Yayyyyyy!" That finally detours the flock.

He turns to Tim. "I'm guessing you beat that thing?"

"Yeah … I don't feel it anymore… thank you for your help…"

"Ah no need to thank me, it would've come after us eventually anyways! That's what friends are for!"

He smiles with a sigh. "Yeah, … yeah your right…"

"JAY'S DEAD!" Well Alex is awake. They turn to see Alex holding a very much alive Jay while sobbing his eyes out.

"He's just sleeping Alex-"

"B-but-I-"

Brian walks over slapping his shoulders. "Nothing good old magic can't fix, right Tim? Look at his chest."

Yes. Something magic indeed. Only a small indented scar remains, though who knows how much it had taken out of him. Jay sneezes loudly, rolling over and grabbing onto the nearest thing which is Alex.

"Well …" Sniff "At least he's not a swan… I don't know how long I could endure talking to a swan for a friend…" He mopes.

"You did good Alex. Thank you. Really." Tim is truly so happy to say that, sparkle in his eyes as he gives Alex a genuine look of thanks.

The man's face turns pink a bit, but he waves it off. "Oh it was _nothing_ \- that spider thing didn't stand a chance!"

"Indeed." 

\---

By the time the crickets come out to play, wood burns steadily in the fireplace, and a few candles light in the windows. The wind still has the little cabin a rattle, but at least any chill could get into the orange glow of the room. 

Jay had awoken earlier, filled in by Tim that their friends were all safe and sound, and the dark feathered man hovered around Jay not letting him do anything strenuous. Everything's been quiet except for a short debate on how dangerous the candles were considering their wings - plus having to redesign their wardrobe, and figure out a sleeping position that doesn't leave 'cramps' as Jay complained.

Tim is stewing something that's beginning to smell delicious in the cauldron, and Jay is working on washing the messy sheets. 

They hadn't cleaned them after their love making. Neither said out loud why, but they both knew. They didn't expect to _survive._ And if one died and not the other, well, at least the scent of them was still there. A rather heartbreaking thing to think about. Tim is right across the room. They're both alive … in a very DIFFERENT world, yes - but Jay's memories of his previous life, and his current had melded into one, and he'd rather be here, where he has friends. Where he can actually do something useful with his time.

"Come here." Tim says, ladling some of the roast into a bowl, and handing it to Jay as he sits down on one of the other stools.

"You know, I do notice, as much as you've insisted on being alone, you always had a double set of everything." And the look on Tim's face means he hadn't even realized.

"... I guess perhaps I was … hoping for something I couldn't have …"

"And yet here we are." He smiles cheekily.

Tim stares at his blue eyes, orange flames dancing in their reflection, and the heat of the fire tinting his cheeks pink.

"Here we are."

They eat in comforting silence, before Jay starts up again between a spoonful. "You know, now that I remember, I very much had a large crush on you - even when you are acting stupid."

"Mmm, I don't know Jay I think a majority of the stupid decisions were yours."

It somehow feels so light to joke about such a dark time in their shared lives. Though he carries some extra secrets with him. Things he will let Tim know, shortly. Things he can only really whisper to him. Now, it's dinner time. Salty buttery potatoes, soft and crumbling in his mouth, along with the almost sweet broth and good meat.

"Were you able to cook like this before?"

"Somewhat, most of it I had to learn."

"It's delicious. Soup-tacular." He snorts.

Tim raises a brow. "If I didn't feel like I got hit by a bus and waterlogged, I'd very much fuck that look off your face."

Jay almost spits his soup, but gives him a wink, his warm cheeks growing even pinker. "I can agree with you on that one."

They eventually settle in for the night, with some meandering to figure out where their wings go, but it makes for a cozy bed. It really does feel like they've been hit with a pile of bricks, and Jay's out in a few minutes as the other pets his hair and feathers. It's easy enough for Tim to fall asleep too, caught up in the scent of him thinking _'Have I ever been this happy before?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is smut I promise


	15. The Not-So Tragic Swan Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim pops the question.
> 
> Alternative Summary: Alex somehow sells soap too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS ALL SMUT EXCEPT FOR THE EPILOGUE. I'M SERIOUS. EXPLICIT SMUT. HOPEFULLY YOU KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW. 
> 
> Tags I'm putting here to try and not make the list enormous:  
> Aftercare, Multiple Orgasms, Forced Orgasm, Bathtub Sex, Oral Sex, Massage, Banter, Anal Sex, Safewords, Domestic, Over-Sensitivity

A few days of warm, stormy bliss. They stay inside, as wet wings tend to drag water everywhere. They doze around the fire, Jay's head leaning on the darker's shoulder. Though the thin strings of anxiety thrum in Tim's heart. A question he isn't sure if he even needs to ask but may fill the final pothole in his emotional state.

"Is something bothering you?"

"Yes. A question. But I fear your reaction."

"Do you really think there's any question that could drive me away, after all we've been through?"

"What if I told you I was thinking of getting a reverse mohawk?"

Jay's eyes scrunch. "Like … a no-hawk? Yeah I might have an issue with that…"

They both crack with a low laugh.

He'd never seen a smile on Jay's face in the previous world. He has lines in his smile, dimples and curves. It's a smile that suits the quirky camera man. Lovely, accompanied by pale blue, almost green eyes.

"Jay, will you be my mate?"

He continues to study the man's face as he carefully processes the question. First, a blink - then the slight raise of his eyelids. A look to the right.

"Swans ... mate for life … and you broke that…" It stings, but it's not intended to.

Tim's eyes widen - he _had_. He had broken that bond forever...

"Then … Jay Merrick … I want to marry you … as a human." He kneels down on a knee, taking Jay's hand.

Jay sighs, smiling.

"Yes … I will marry you."

He gives a look of great fondness, and rests his head on Jay's knees. "You are so sweet to me."

"You deserve all of it." He cups his jaw, pulling him up into a tender meeting of lips. "And I'll keep telling you that until you believe me … and then some." Another light smooch.

They move to their feet, casually swaying in the center of the room. Neither could imagine just how much they would enjoy the heat and heartbeat of another body. The soft smell of another.

He pulls Jay's ear, whispering what he can only think are vows.

" _I'll never lie to you again. I'll never leave you unprotected again. I'll never harm you again. I've spent decades away from you, and I'd trade it all again."_ It sends a jitter through the taller's wings, tickling his ear. Tim presses his lips to the pulse point right under the corner of his jaw, leaving a small trail that summons heat to the surface.

"Not fair … can't think…" Jay huffs, the man at his throat only humming, pushing into his space more to pull him further apart.

 _"Tim … I … I'll never stop loving you, I'll - I'll always trust you-"_ Tim shoves him against the wall, breaking his chain of thought. " _I'll never - betray you … again Tim, I won't, I won't…"_

 _"Shhshhshh Jay, I know. I love you._ "

 _"I -I love you too so much…"_ It's all said with the same feeling an emotional song leaves on one's tongue, the strain in one's throat on a high note.

Until they could better construct their clothes, they wore simple shawls - actually blankets - and _'thank goodness'_ Tim thinks for whichever one of them had that idea, because it only takes a few good tugs before the knots come undone and he pulls the linen away. 

He spreads his fingers out over the light hair scarcely covering Jay's chest, and he can see the bubbles rising in the man's throat, a blushed smile all focused on the other.

"You're crushing my wings…"

"Pffft- trying to spoil the moment?"

He gives the slightest smile - recognized as a rare hint of mischief - 

"Eek!" He lets out a loud squeak when Jay scoops him up. "Warn me next time you get super strength."

"You weren't taking me to bed fast enough."

"You've always been impatient." He says between kisses.

"For good reason."

He settles them on the covers, taking care not to bend any feathers, and tries taking apart Tim's clothes. Emphasis on try. He's too hungry to focus and before he knows it, Tim's wiggling out from under him and pressing him into the blankets, straddling his back.

"Patience."

He waits for Jay to open his mouth, shoving the heels of his palms below the base of his neck. He groans loudly and a sigh as the spot is kneaded and worked over.

"You're spoiling me - mmph - let me up."

"I want to spoil you, so behave." 

The painful tension melts away with each press - new wings really did pull a lot of muscles - and Jay almost cries out in relief. He's not even hard yet, just relaxing into the touch.

He flinches a little bit when cool lavender oil drips on his back, but the effect is instant when thick hands return to their ministrations, even digging his knuckles into Jay's back at times. Though his grumbles return knowing Tim has a sly smile on, especially when the fingers keep teasing the hem of his pants.

What sounds like _"Tim"_ is mumbled into the pillows, and it's all the 'please' he needs to rip his pants and smalls down.

The candle light dances off the oil on his back, Tim rubs it into his skin, taking an appreciative squeeze at his rum, soothing it down his pale thighs. 

"Timmmm, as much as I love a good massage, I have other pressing needs right now."

"We have time. Shhhhh."

"You're kneading my naked ass and still clothed."

"You want more?" 

"For fucks sake yes! You know exactly what you're doing." 

He laughs. "Impatient." 

"I will get my revenge for this."

"I'm sure you will."

Tim flips him over roughly, forcing his wings to fly out to avoid getting crushed. Then lips are kissing the underside of his dick sweetly, bringing him to life.

"Oh fuck- touch me-"

"I am touching you." Tim snorts.

"Need more-" His head repeatedly smacks the headboard.

"Stop it." Tim drags him down, then gently sucks at his balls.

"Shiittt-" He sighs.

He continues to lave attention to every part of his manhood, licking a stripe from behind his sac to the tip. He's already got Jay whining for more, feet and hands twisting in the sheets.

"Please Tim - please remove your clothes, I want to look at you, all of you."

"Well, since you've endured so much-"

He peels apart the fabric knots, not letting Jay sit up to rub his chest. However, Jay's a step ahead of him, lifting his foot to run across the bulge in Tim's pants.

"You're so hard for me, I bet your weeping already - can't wait to put your dick where it belongs huh?" He relishes in the friction for a moment, and regains his composure.

"I'll show you weeping."

Jay's manhandled back over, ass up so fast he's almost upside down and entirely exposed.

He lets the pad of his thumb trace his hole, which flickers at the sensitive touch, and then slowly leans closer to it. Tim takes the rest of the bottle, holding it to Jay's entrance and letting it trickle in. Jay squirms at the cold, but takes it.

_"Good. You'll feel fantastic."_

He plays there with a finger tracing his hole in languid circles.

" _You look fucking beautiful, so ready for me, I'm going to fill you up good."_

A thick finger begins to breach the ring of muscle, and Jay whines loud, already trying to take more of it in even as Tim controls the pace, welcoming it into his body so hot and ready. 

"It's only our second time, and you already take to me so well."

He only needs a few more strokes before deciding to slip a second finger, which to Jay _keens._

"Goddammit, just fuck me- I can take it!"

"No you can't."

"Hmmph." Jay pouts and can't help but whine in response. Though he's not given much of a break when callused but smooth fingertips slither in and crook _just right_ and hit that sweet spot. He nearly jumps off the bed.

"Fuck! Fucking shit- fuck-"

"Naughty mouth."

"You - Fuck - keep-" His retort is jumbled by each curse spewing from his mouth, and he swears Tim dawns a sadistic grin when he suddenly pistons his fingers much to fast, choking off the series of profanities.

"I'm so hungry for you - but I intend to make sure my swan is exhausted tonight."

"Uck-ggh-hck-" Can't talk right now. Prostate getting fucked. He leaks everywhere. And then finally there's a _third_ and he lets out a pleased moan, brows furrowed.

In and out. In and out. They stretch him so deliciously and ' _fuck! He's adding another_!' Tim inserts the index finger from his left hand, and with four of them, he's pulling the muscle to its limits and Jay's dick drools on to the bed. He wants to stroke his cock, but everytime he reaches a hand back, Tim will stop, and he _needs_ more friction **_now._ **

"Stop teasing me or I swear I will walk off!"

Tim laughs quietly. "Alright. Scooch up." He helps Jay roll over again and sit, adjusting his wings. "Not too uncomfortable is it?"

"Shut up, hurry-" He pulls at Tim's neck, canting his hips. He makes only a minor show of shedding his pants and underwear, freeing his neglected dick. He slicks himself with the oil, and positions his length, plush head kissing the wanting hole while holding Jay's hips with warm, greasy hands.

"You ready?" 

Jay gulps, "Yes … please…"

He begins pushing into the tight wet heat. Tim's eyes roll back at the pleasure around his tip. He changes his angle every which way to push himself to the hilt faster. _Fuck_ Jay's so tight but so willing, opening up for him so well.

"Ah-ahhnnn~!" Jay lets out a holy noise, face red and panting as he adjusts. Tim keeps him pressed to the bed, kissing his cheek until he gives him a begging look.

"Please Tim please~"

"Don't worry, I'll give it to you. Relax." 

He silences another 'please' with a whimper, nuzzling his face into Tim's shoulder.

He moves slow - hesitant, gentle thrusts that are barely more than twitch. Jay squirms, fitting himself around his dick. The stretch of tight muscle flutters around him and the friction shoves the groan out. "Fuck … you're so tight…" He moves more and gets approving gasps from the other. The sensations around his cock are stifling and perfect.

"My beautiful swan, so good to me~" Tim coos in his ear, barely more than a whisper. "So pretty." He sucks and kisses at his earlobe and doesn't miss how Jay's dick twitches in response. "Going to fuck you, mark you all up. Purple and white."

"If you leave a gross looking hickey I'll kill you." 

"No bruises - red and white then?"

"Every mark you leave on me I'm returning ten fold."

"Try me." He sinks his teeth into the junction of his shoulder.

"You-" But before he can word a protest, the angle is shifted and sliding against his prostate and it turns into a sigh.

"There's a behaved bird." He gives the same treatment, just enough to send sparks through him, but nothing substantial.

Jay pulls at his feathers.

"Don't do that." Tim nips harshly in the ear.

"S-sorry." He laughs nervously, lip worrying as he actually attempts to be more patient.

Their foreheads touch, and he pants against Tim's mouth. "Can't wait anymore." Gently tugging the hairs at the base of his scalp. "Or I'm going to shake apart with a nervous breakdown."

He gives him a peck and discontinues his teasing, shifting then back onto the bed. He gives a few solid, smooth strokes to test him.

"Agh- more! Please, please."

"Anything for you, birdy."

Jay stops fighting with him and clings on as he goes faster, hitting him dead on. 

"Good…" He draws out.

"Yeah? Feel good?" 

"Yeah - good - want more."

He curls arms under Jay's shoulders, bracketing him with his wings, picking up a punishingly good pace, throwing Jay's head back with a constant panting moan. He growls wanting more and more of his blue-jay's singing. Wants him to scream himself hoarse and come from his slow treatment.

The lanky man's jaw is dropped in ecstacy and he moans more beautifully than any other bird.

He kisses his hair. "You're so good Jay."

He praises him as Jay shudders.

"N-o I'm not …"

"Yes you are." He kisses him to silence another protest. "You've got a good heart."

" _Hrmmm_ ~" He whines, head tilting up.

"You always have Jay … it took me a while to see that…"

He pushes himself deeper until the tears finally break from his eyes.

"Timmmmm!" He hiccups.

"I'm right here Jay…" He leans his forehead against Jays.

"It f-f-feels good! Fuck me - don't hold back - fuck - ruin me!" His blood boils with possession and with a growl, he fills his mate's request, snapping his hips forward, digging fingers into his thighs and pushing until he's surely bent in half. He pushes into his prostate hard, then speeding up to rip the screams right out of him in rapid succession. Jay's reduced to whimpers for words, and he holds on to him with scrabbling, weak hands as he is absolutely wrecked. "So-so deep, hmmm!" He whines.

Tim leans into his ear, kissing his neck, repeating his earlier vows. "I've wanted to do this for so long Jay … I froze in time itself and waited for you. Twenty-four years to meet you again … and I would've waited more … you know that right?" Jay nods with a sharp moan. "I'll always wait for you Jay…" He's not sure Jay even heard him until he replies with arid breaths.

"Wh-when did you become s-so … wordy…?" He pants, not having the ability to think of the proper words. Tim snorts. 

"Well I've had a lot of time to think about it."

"Gee Tim, t-hat's quite perverted of you, s-some might call you a - a sl-ut…" He breathes out, blushing at his own lewdity.

Tim's voice sinks low and he gives him a harsher thrust "Careful Jay, you'll kill a man with those words…"

"Hmmnnbbbuu-" His words are lost. He bites Jay's ear roughly.

"Hmm? I think you're the one wanting to get f-fucked - that's what they call a wh-whore right?" Now he's the one stuttering. Jay mumbles and wraps his arms around his back, pulling himself closer. 

"Nnmmnnooo-nooo only you - only you can - can fuck me!" He shouts the last word, panting near hyperventilation, and looking up with a moan.

That almost throws him over the edge. "Jay…" He grimaces against his shoulder.

"Sh-Tim-Tim-Tim!" Jay begs as he's gruelingly pushed to a long-waiting orgasm. He gasps harshly and his limbs jump and shake, Tim holds on to him for dear life, fucking him through, wildly laughing when Jay's back violently twitches, arching up with a _scream_ , and he makes a total mess, slapping and splattering come between them, hands flying back against the headboard. His head hangs, panting towards the ceiling.

"Come on Tim … you did so well, come on~" He whines, still bucking his hips chasing the feeling.

"Almost - Jay-" He breathes against his neck, sucking a kiss there and growling as he comes undone, stilling his hips deep in him.

 _"Mine_." He grunts out. Jay moans with him as he feels the heat gush inside. His legs still subconsciously push against the sheets trying to bury himself deeper and _stay_ there with an instinct to breed, feeling like he's still pumping him full, finally resting there.

"Damn you're hot Tim, making those noises over me…" 

Tim blushes coming down, still holding Jay tight to him. "Like I said Jay, you're killing me…"

"I mean it Tim, you're so hot… goddamn…" Tim smiles. 

"Oh you're just saying that cus I fucked you silly…"

"I'm not going to stop telling you until you believe me."

"Then you're going to be telling me a long time, I'm a very stubborn mental patient Jay…"

"Welp you're a hot as fuck very stubborn mental patient then…" He wraps himself around Tim needily. "Hold me…" He maneuvers them on their side, petting Jay as he lets out a few tears.

"Mmm - sorry-" He says, wiping his face.

"Don't be. I'm gonna pull out ok?" 

"Ok." Jay nods and Tim releases him. Jay moans at the loss held carefully as he cries, coming down from his emotional high.

"Beautiful." He sobs silently, kissing Tim's face. "You're so perfect … I don't deserve you." 

"You do, and so much more Jay … god, so much more than I fear I can give you, but I want to try, everyday, destroy all those horrible years you spent alone with blinding pleasure."

"Fuck - Tim." He hugs him like a vice, crying into his chest, into the warm dark hair he treasures there and the soft feathers on his arm and down his spine and _how could he be so perfect?_

"Mmm … I want to take you dancing tomorrow … would you like that?"

"Yes, if I can still walk." Placing a kiss to his nose and wiping his eyes.

He untangles from Jay slowly - and thank goodness he's learned to think ahead, plenty of buckets of water boiling next to the fire. He pours them into the large linen lined tub, enough for a single man to stretch out in.

Tim plucks a whiny man from the bed, and settles him into the tub, arranging his wings to hang on the outside.

He sits on a stool, dumping some of the expensive perfumes and some soap bars he eventually gave into buying from Alex. He works his fingers through Jay's scalp, preens his delicate feathers, such an angelic shade of white, in contrast to his rich black. 

This is certainly a side he hadn't known until having his love - he liked to care for people - at least for Jay. His own pain seemed to dissipate as well.

"Next time I get to pamper you." Jay half pouts.

"Alright. Relax for now."

He scrubs Jay's back with a boar bristle brush, then soothes it with the washcloth, passing over his chest, not missing when Jay's nipple reacts, pink and pert. Hmm. In his opinion he didn't pay enough attention to the rest of Jay beforehand…

_Hmm._

He climbs in on the other side of the tub, Jay watching him like a cat. He settles between his legs, and makes a pass with cloth over his stomach, lips coming to kiss his neck like wet marble. He works his way down, inch by inch by inch, moving the other direction with his mouth, until he comes to nestle in the fine hairs above his softened length.

He wraps the textured cloth around Jay's member to clean him, and smirks up slyly.

"You better not…"

"Better not what?" He says, before giving him a rough drag, making him jump and almost slap his hand away.

"Better not what? Touch you?" He says, letting his fingers toy with the sensitive length. Jay's hips jump uncontrollably, but his ankles wrap around Tim's back, encouraging him forward.

He pushes him up and sits him on a little ledge of the wooden tub, teasing his member, and licks at it, even grazing his teeth softly, all to aggravate Jay. He snakes the wash cloth over his flexing abdomen, rubbing a nipple with his thumb.

Jay gives a groan, though not entirely from annoyance. So he wraps his hand around the length, which is just barely starting to show interest.

He _strokes_ with a grip like he has a hard cock in his hand. There's a bit of thrashing and panting, but _oh_ how prettily it responds to him. He mouths the tip with his lips, giving Jay a pleading look, the sensitivity causing a deep grunt, teeth baring together. He nurses it like a tit and Jay moans and moans endlessly, as he massages a finger over the man's balls. 

Until _finally_. A drop of sweet precome plops on his wanting tongue.

"It's your fault."

"Think you can come again?"

"You're crazy …" Jay says, but his head nods.

"Come for me again? Hmm?" Jay shakes with the renewed arousal causing his dick to weep.

Tim takes him down in one motion.

"Ahhh! Oh fuck oh shit!" He spits out, kicking at the water again with his feet.

Tim ignores him, holding his hips down as he takes him in, enveloping him in overly sensitive wet heat, bobbing his head and watching his face for cues.

"Y-you sneaky sonuvabitch -" He whines, but his eyes tell a different story.

He gives him one more good suction, then pulls off. Jay whines.

"Why'd you stop?'

"Trust me."

"Last time I did that you wouldn't touch me at all."

"Now you're going to be begging me to _stop_ touching you."

"Oh?" He mirrors Tim's characteristic brow.

"You know what word to say if you want to stop right?"

"Yes. Besides, I'd slap you anyways." 

He opens his body and the black swan devours him, diving forward to drag Jay's body back into the water, hands everywhere, every bit of wet flesh licked hungrily. His fingers trace every curve and edge and feather and Jay keens, so gorgeously overwhelmed. Touching everywhere but where he needs it. They work down to his rump and inside, where he can still feel his seed mixed with lavender oil, and it immediately sends blood rushing south once more.

"Fuck, Jay … I want to be inside you, where you're hot and tight … want to be a part of you, don't want to leave…"

Jay shoves his hips back, letting him rut his filling dick against the curve of his ass. "Do it." Is all he says, and Tim could almost cry, parting those cheeks again and pushing in where he wishes he could stay forever. He's loud now to Jay's blushing enjoyment, feeling everything so acutely. He wraps his hands around his waist. 

" _Fuck Jay - so fucking - perfect - fucking christ - oh why are you so - mmph."_

He takes Tim's chin in hand. _"Go ahead. Be selfish. Take what you need love."_ And with that he loses coherency, babbling into Jay's nape, hitting his prostate everytime. He smiles like a drunk with drool still on his face. Jay rolls his eyes back.

" _Don't touch yourself~_ " He whispers greedily. Jay moves frantically, trying to get friction against the side of the bath, leaving a near constant stream of precome from his previous orgasm.

 _"Mmm - mmm - I'm close, I can't stop Jay, fuck!"_ He cries. _"It's so fucking - g-good!"_

"Imagine if I stopped you now huh?" Jay feels emboldened. "Put a tight grip around your cock so matter what you do, you wouldn't be able to come. No matter _how badly_ you need to."

 _"Oh fuck - I wanna come j-just - gah - thinking about it! You're so slick and fucking - I can't!_ JAY!"

"Come for me."

He sees lightning. He hears a bunch of loud grunts and growls, giving Jay his load. The best orgasm of his life. He can't - even - process.

He comes back with Jay's voice encouraging him to breathe. He pulls out, spunk dripping down Jay's thighs into the water.

Tim gives a loud sigh "Amazing."

Jay turns and looks at him with a pleading gaze, dick almost painful from both the oversensitivity and desperation.

"Oh hells - I'm going to make you come like that-" He digs his nails into Jay's hips, and then starts massaging his taint as fast as possible, causing and instant shivering, and a burn at the tip of his dick as Tim rubs there.

"Shh Jay, just let it happen, you'll feel euphoric-" He continues with the slow circles on the tip, jamming his fingers into his taint as Jay screams a series of sounds and "oh my god's". He shakes and quivers and his mind melts out his ears. Tim's moving so fast it shoots like electricity through his body, sweet liquid pleasure that he shouts to the ceiling. His orgasm hits mercilessly washing over him, almost painful at how good it is, soiling the water with long pearly ropes.

He chokes on tears as Tim still slowly strokes him, mumbling curses but not moving to stop him yet. He puts his hands over the edge of the tub as he lets out a cry.

"Oh my - fuck stop - _so good_ \- oh fuck too much! - _don't actually stop_ \- oh fuck Tim it's too much!" 

Tim hums into his ears, holding him in place even as his wings slap water out of the tub.

He manages the lowest voice he can. "Come for me again Jay. Just one more. I wanna see you sweetheart."

"I can't - fuck you already got one more - fuck fuck FUCK!"

"I know you've got one more in you. One more for me? Just for me Jay?" He asks in a pleading voice, knowing it's driving the man bonkers.

This ups the ante and Jay bites the edge of the tub, with a frighteningly loud groan that keeps roaring, like he's in pain. He's about to take his hand away in concern and Jay whips his head around with glaring daggers. _"Don't you dare fucking stop until I come Timothy, or I'll kill you."_

"Yes sir!" He obeys and Jay moans obscenely unlike anything he's ever heard, growling like an animal. His feathers rise on his spine feral-like. He moves like a dancer possessed, twitching and canting his hips every which way. Tim is glad he's come already, able to watch this in perfect clarity. 

"Tim - aw fuck - Je t'aime - très bon! S'il te plait!"

"French?"

Too late for a reply.

Jay stills rigidly, eyes like moons, and he lets out a single _"Ah!_ " and shakes apart like fragile glass with his orgasm smashing and breaking through him, collapsing to shards. His feathers fluff out as he spills a few drops, coming mostly dry.

He slumps forward with yet another kind of smile he's never seen before, thoroughly ruined. Tim smirks, tentatively smoothing his feathers down. "Satisfied?" 

_"Bliss._ " He whispers, cheek on the edge of the tub. He's nearly unconscious as Tim cleans him up entirely. He gets out first, letting his wobbly legs adjust, before he can dare tug Jay out. Then he remembers the sweat soaked sheet on the bed, which he pulls off and replaced with a bunch of pillows and blankets. He has a feeling they may not move much for a few days.

He hoists Jay out of the tub, who manages to towel off and stumble with him over to the cozy nest. The moment his wings are adjusted he's out of it, and Tim coils up on the other side.

Bliss.

\---

Epilogue

They walk down the village path. Of course a few familiar kids have already caught sight of them and follow like an ant trail.

"Were going to start attracting the crowds out to our house again looking like this."

"We probably _should_ move farther into the mountains …" Tim mumbles.

"Mmm but then we couldn't annoy Brian and Alex."

"More like they couldn't annoy us."

"Hi Jay!" - "Hello Jay!" - "How are you doing Jay!?" He waves at each of his old neighbors, though Tim's gruff expression keeps them from getting into any long rambling conversations.

They come to a lovely little bungalow, knocking. Alex almost opens the door immediately. "Jay!" He pulls him into a vice hug, ruffling his hair.

"Alex if you mess up my feathers I'm going to strangle you."

"Hey guys." Brian opens the door properly to let them in, all agreeing they would meet for lunch today.

They sit eating sandwiches and Jay has to admit this is one of his favorite parts about the strange age they're living in.

"So how's your coupling going over with the chieftains?"

Brian blushes and scratches the back of his head.

"Great - as long as we bring in enough food to support two families, they don't care what we do!" Alex says, snorting. "It's been a lot easier without whatever that thing was, they think it had some curse over the forest. Even after all that we still have more freetime then before."

"They believed your story?"

"Well, when a surplus of food shows up, people stop dying mysteriously, and two bird men wander out of the woods, they'll believe just about anything." Brian says.

"True."

Tim sits quietly engaged in the conversation, smiling and nodding as he listens.

"What have you been doing with your free time then?" Jay smiles mischievously - and then gets a totally innocent answer.

"We've been working on our other interests - Brian's got all these cool maps he's been drawing!"

"They're not done yet - but I'm trying to chart the forest more accurately, especially after the wildfire."

Jay picks up his teacup.

"Alex on the other hand has actually started his dream of being a playwright." 

Jay stops mid sip. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, I've been developing this new script for a romantic-comedy to be acted out in front of the entire village - it's going to be called Mar-"

Well there goes the tea, spraying across Alex's face.

"No."

"No."

"Definitely not."

"Nuh uh."

"Oh come on guys I was gonna offer you a par-"

"Nope!"

"No thank you Alex-"

"Where are you going?"

"We have - uh very important meeting - yeah."

"Yeah - but uh good luck with your play! I really think you should change the name."

"But you haven't even heard the full name-"

Tim slams his hands down on the table. " _Change it."_

"Pffftt fine, ok whatever… dumb name anyways."

"Goodbye - good luck!" The two shuffle out quickly.

"What was their problem?"

"Hmm, don't know - bad memories maybe?"

"From what?"

"Being stuck in a loop of unhappiness."

"A what?"

Brian curls a finger under his chin. _"Best if you don't remember director."_ Any further questions are forgotten as their lips meet.

"You know … a loop of unhappiness ... that would make a good line in my play…"

Brian sits in his lap. "Hmm, what if you made it a horror play instead?"

"Horror?"

"Yeah - you could include that monster and everything, great story material."

"Hmm … but I still want it to be romantic …"

"Maybe … maybe a dark romance?"

"Yeah … yeah! And it can be about that monster - and swans - woah - what about curses too!?"

"It sounds great already."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I leave you with the unsettling thought of "Did Brian know all along?"


End file.
